Intergalactic Medley
by Lilly V
Summary: AU For the border guard during an intergalactic war it'll take more than just quick thinking to get them through, it'll take a killer soundtrack. Features Jericho, Lita, the Hardys, Trish, Edge, and more classics. Updated for its 5th anniversary.
1. Fly Away From Here

I don't own the WWF/E characters, and unless we suddenly become involved in an intergalactic war I don't think this could ever conceivably happen. I'm not making money. Why not? I don't know. But I'm not and there it stands.

"Hurricane, pull up."

"I've got it, Red."

"I told you to pull up, Hurricane."

"And I told you I've got it."

"Dammit Shane, pull up, you're too close!"

"I know what I'm doing! Lemme do it!"

Lita watched the screen closely, following each of Shane's maneuvers with a growing sense of fear in her chest. "Bogey at 5 O'clock Shane."

"Got it!" He reassured her. Then, "Dammit! I'm hit!"

"Then get the fuck out of there!"

A long pause. "System malfunction. I've gotta go to emergency procedures."

"You've gotta learn how to do this yourself."

"A little help here?"

"You've gotta do this one on your own."

"I'm going down!"

There was a flashing red light over the screen, alerting Lita to Shane's doomed condition. She did nothing as she watched the ship blow up in mid dive.

Lita sighed heavily, rolling her eyes. "Now do you get what I was trying to tell you?" she yelled.

Shane exited the simulator, "Yeah, yeah, I get it. I get it. Be prepared and alert at all times."

"Very good. Now, when you can pilot that mission without dying you get your wings. Until then you're grounded."

Shane nodded. "I get it, I get it." He sulked as he walked away.

The red haired girl shut down the program and sighed again. Why oh why did the boys keep insisting they could do this when this was the third time this week one of them had failed the simulation? And the one that did pass only got away with it because of his completely insane tactics. She was sick and tired of seeing Jeff risk his life any time he left the base.

Her com went off. "Yes?"

"Lita? Jericho. I need to talk to you."

"Be there in a second, oh captain my captain."

"Don't call me that."

Lita headed for the chambers of the ship's commanding officer. When she arrived he motioned her in.

"Sit down," he instructed. "Lita, listen. I know that being positioned out here wasn't exactly what any of us had in mind."

"Chris, I don't mind it that much," she told the blonde man. She adjusted the zipper on her top for comfort's sake. She had to keep it pulled up further during sims so the guys would concentrate.

"Don't tell me that," Chris handed her a drink and sat down across from her in what was supposed to be his living room. "Look, this isn't a place you ask to be assigned. Border patrol is far from glamorous, and it's also the most deadly job I could imagine taking. I hate it, you hate it, and the guys mostly hate it. But you've handled it well."

"Is this going somewhere?" she asked before taking another sip of her drink.

"Speaking of going anywhere, what's up with you and the older Hardy Boy. And when does he become a Hardy Man?"

"Very funny."

"Lemme guess, you've already made him a Hardy Man?"

"Chris, if we weren't friends I'd probably be failing at an attempt to kick your ass right now. And for your information, our relationship is just fine, thank you."

"Just wondering," Chris defended himself. "I just wanted to know, because, as you know, we have an inspection coming up."

Lita nodded. Sure enough, that bitch Stephanie would be dragging her ass out there, along with her brother and their bastard friends who'd stuck her out here. "But what does that have to do with me and Matt?"

"Well, Lita, you know how I'm kinda lax about that whole 'chain of command' thing? If I wanna keep my job, they're gonna expect me to have a second in command."

"And you want me to tell Matt it's him?"

"Not exactly. Matt's good…but he's not what I need. I need somebody that knows what's going on. You've been training the guys in sim for how long now? A year?"

"Around that, yeah. Why am I training them, anyway?"

"Well, you know how you kinda got up to level 19?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you're kinda only the second female around here to do that. The first was Chy before she left."

"Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"Well, see, that's not the only thing. The percentage of guys who make it to level 19 is pretty low. In fact, it's around a 5 percent chance of making it that far."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Lita, I want to appoint you my second in command."

The girl sat in silence. Then, after a long and tense pause, she said simply, "Okay."

Jericho brightened. "I figured you would. Great. Oh…wait. There is one other thing," he said, as if he were adding it as an afterthought.

Lita raised her eyebrows. She'd been working with Chris long enough to know this was not going to be a small thing. "And that is?"

"Well, I need you to watch the replay of last week's encounter."

Lita turned to face the screen in Jericho's room. The battle replay began and Lita heard every transmission over the radios.

"X-treme 1, I want you backing up Edge."

"Red, I'm coming to help you."

"No, you're going to back up Edge, I have this one."

"Red, listen to me. I'm not losing you."

At this point Lita watched as Matt's ship on the screen dove towards her, leaving Edge's completely alone and heading into a large concentration of enemy ships.

"Dammit X-treme 1, he can't handle them all on his own! Turn away from me and go back him up!"

"Fuck him!"

"X-treme 1, if you do not turn around right now and go back up Edge I will personally kick your ass. If we make it out of this. Just go back him up NOW!"

Lita watched as Matt came after her anyway. In Edge's sector she saw Jericho's ship come out of nowhere to aid him.

Jericho's voice. "I've got him Red. And X-treme 1, we will talk about this back on base."

Jericho stopped the replay. "What do you think?"

Lita shook her head, looking surprised. "I didn't know he came after me. My sensors were pretty shot from the dog fight before hand. I thought he turned around and went for Edge."

"Well, he wouldn't turn around. He came after you and put the life of another member of the crew in danger. Lita, I want to give you the second in command position, but I need proof that you're going to be able to put personal feelings aside."

Lita gave a grim but understanding smile. "In other words, I have to punish Matt for this."

"Basically."

"This is kind of sudden Chris."

"I know. But we have days until the inspection, Red. Make your choice."

Lita set down her glass, carefully. After a pause she pulled out her com. "Matt, I need to see you in Jericho's quarters, now."

After a few minutes, the serious looking boy showed up. "What's going on?" He asked when he saw the look on Lita's face.

Jericho looked at the two of them. "I'll leave you two alone to talk," he announced as he left the room.

Matt looked at Lita again. "What's wrong?" After a pause. "Aw shit. You're pregnant."

An incredulous look crossed Lita's face. "No, no, I'm not pregnant Matt. I need to talk to you."

"About?"

"Last week, the encounter where you disregarded my orders, blatantly."

"Lita, listen. You know I love you, and I just couldn't leave you there to die."

"Matt, I understand, but still, you shouldn't have abandoned Edge when he was in more danger than I was."

"He got out of there," Matt argued, as if that was the end of it.

Lita looked at him in disbelief. "Yeah. Because Chris risked his life to save him. Matt, I'm sorry, but what you did was a danger to the entire team. You can't just dash in and save me because there's a big bad in front of me. I was fine. Edge was about to die."

"What is this all leading up to?"

Lita sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "Matt, are you able to not do that?" She opened her eyes.

"Lita, I can't help it. Every time I think of something happening to you, I just have to come after you. I got scared and came for you."

"Can you control it?"

Matt paused. "No. I am in love with you, and I will risk anything to save you."

Lita sighed. "Then I'm sorry Matt."

"Sorry for what?"

There was a long, uncomfortable pause. Then, Lita's face grew more serious than Matt had ever seen it. "For grounding you for three weeks. After that your return will be purely based on whether or not you've gotten over this."

"WHAT?"

"I'm sorry Matt, but you're endangering the team."

"WELL WHO THE FUCK DIED AND MADE YOU MISS HIGH AND MIGHTY?" Matt yelled at her.

"Jericho," Lita deadpanned. "He appointed me second in command earlier. Right before you came in."

"And so you just decided to abuse your power and fuck with my head?"

The fight to stay calm was evident on Lita's face. "This isn't easy for me Matt. But I have to do this. I have to prove I'm not going to let you off easier just because we're together."

"So you're gonna fuck me here and then you'll just fuck me tonight, right?"

"Matt, please. This is what I have to do."

"And you have to do it to me?"

"Matt…"

"After everything we've been through?"

"Matt…"

"I can't believe you'd do this to me. I thought you loved me."

"MATT!" Lita finally yelled, her eyes wild.

The boy stared at her as she fumed.

"NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME!" she screamed. Then calming down. "I would treat anyone the way I am treating you. Just because we happen to sleep together doesn't mean you get preferential treatment. And if you do not stop arguing with me this instant I will ground you for six months. I don't want this to affect our personal lives, but I will also not let our personal lives affect this. Now, are there any questions?"

Matt was silent. He nodded with a dark look on his face.

"You can go," Lita said, turning away from him.

"I am," Matt responded.

Lita heard the door slam shut and wished she'd made a different choice.

"So, you're saying that you actually used that in sim Jeff?" Shane asked as he sat down with his friends in the mess hall.

"Yep," the boy replied, pushing a strand of purple hair out of his face. "Lita was gonna bitch, but I did get through the simulation, and you guys know she's pulled some stupid shit before."

"Like?" Shane asked, skeptical.

"The time she got into a dog fight with Malenko just to prove she could," Edge mentioned as he sat down with the other boys. "And the time Chyna decided to challenge her and they put each other in the infirmary for two weeks. Lita's done some stupid stuff in her day."

"Yeah, like dating Essa," Jeff sighed as he pushed the same strand out of his face so it didn't cover up his left eye which was lined ancient Egyptian style with black liner.

Shane was staring at that eye now. "What's with the eye makeup, again?"

Jeff laughed. "That's a deadeye mark. It's an old tradition in some places across the border. You see, when you've done something exceptional out there, made some kind of amazing save or risked your own life with incredible results, you earn the right to wear it."

Helms looked skeptical. "And what did you do to deserve it?"

Jeff's face lost it's normally carefree demeanor. "The first TLC mission."

Edge shuddered, remembering the beating each of them had taken during that. "That was hell."

"Edge here earned his deadeye that day too, but he won't wear it," Jeff mentioned.

"Yeah, and if I remember right so did your brother," the blonde interjected, pointing his fork at Jeff. "And he doesn't wear it either."

"Yeah, but Matt's not the kind to do that kinda stuff," Jeff pointed out. "And neither is Chris."

"Chris? You mean Jericho has a deadeye?" Shane squealed.

"Yeah. Third TLC mission. Lost his partner soon after," Jackie seated herself with the boys. "What's going on?"

"Not much," Edge informed her. "Shane's bitching about not having his wings yet."

"Feel lucky you've even come close kid. Most people don't. Or they do and then something stupid comes up and makes 'em leave. Like Chy…" Jackie shook her head. "There was a tough bitch."

"I could say the same about you," Rob Van Dam mentioned as he sat with the growing group. "Considering you're the top in hand to hand around here."

"No. I just get into more bar brawls than most people. Don't soften the damn blow." Then, "Anyone mind if I smoke a cigar?"

All the boys shook their heads.

"Good, 'cause if I did mind, I'd beat you until you didn't." Jackie removed a metallic silver tube and tapped the end until a cigar came out. "Not the best in the world, but better than some of the shit I've had."

"Well, they told you to stay away from that Carnathian shit," Tori told her as she joined the group. "And do you listen? Noooo, you don't."

"Up yours sunshine," Jackie spat as she lit her cigar. "Where are Matt and Red?"

As if on cue, Matt stormed into the mess hall. "The audacity of that BITCH!"

"What are you talking about?" Edge asked as Matt sat down and put his head in his hands.

"Lita just grounded me for three weeks for saving her life."

There was silence.

"You mean grounded as in…revoked your flying privileges?" Jeff asked.

"Yes. For getting her out of that mess last week."

"Oh," Edge brought up, "the mess you nearly got me killed during?"

Matt nodded behind his hands. "She told me I unnecessarily risked the life of another in order to protect my girlfriend."

Silence again.

"Well, speaking as the life you unnecessarily risked, I say 'Good for her,'" Edge finally said. "But how can she? She doesn't have that kind of power around here."

Matt glared at Edge angrily. "Jericho appointed her second in command about an hour ago. Apparently he needs to look good for the inspection crew so he doesn't lose his post."

"Can't blame him for covering his ass," Jackie admitted as she puffed the cigar. "But why Red?"

"Not real sure. I guess because she made level 19. Like that's an accomplishment," he spat. "I mean, how hard is it for a girl to make a level 19?"

Tori paused. "Uh, Matt, I never made level 19. Are you saying I can't fly?" She glared at the dark haired boy.

Matt ignored her question, desperate in his search for validation. "Well, Jackie, what about you?"

Jackie puffed her cigar and let out a sharp laugh. "Are you stupid or something? I'm the mechanic, numbnuts. I don't fly. I can't make level 19!"

Matt turned to the rest of the table. "Guys, back me up here…"

Edge met his gaze. "I made a level 19, but I still don't think he entirely trusts me. I mean, I was on the wrong side during the first TLC mission."

"I did," RVD mentioned. "But dude, can you picture me as second in command?"

Matt looked at his brother, begging.

Jeff shrugged. "I did, but I'm too risky for a second. Chris knows that."

"And it doesn't hurt that you're completely immature," The group became aware that Chris had entered the conversation. "And that Lita has also shown that she's capable of training you people. She's good, and I don't wanna hear any more questioning of my decisions." This was directly aimed at Matt. "And I thought there was no smoking in here," that was aimed at Jackie.

"Like you ever enforced the rules before. I asked 'em if they minded."

"Which we didn't," Rob backed her. "At all."

Jericho sighed and bowed his head. Then, raising it again, he delivered the news. "Inspection crew, three days."

The entire assembly stared at him. "WHAT?" they yelled, almost in unison.

Chris shrugged. "They moved it up. I can't do anything about it."

"Who's coming?" Edge asked as he finished his chicken.

"Regal, Stephanie and her husband, Hunter. Other than that I don't know."

"Stephanie's coming?" Tori asked, slyly. "So, Chris, how good are you trying to look for this again?"

"Shut up Tori," Chris ordered. "I don't like her."

There were stifled giggles around the table. "Riiiiiight," Edge smirked.

"I don't!"

"Then why are you always commenting on her breasts?" Jeff asked.

"Because I'm making fun of her," Jericho answered, hastily.

"But that means you're looking at them."

A smug grin crossed Chris's face. "How can I not? They're so huge it's hard to get around them."

More laughter, except for Matt, who still looked like he was ready to hunt down his girlfriend and kill her.

The door opened again, and Lita walked into the room. "Hello guys," she smirked as she sat down at the opposite end of the table from Matt.

"Hey Red, congrats," Shane smiled at her.

"Thanks Shane," Lita opened her bottle of water and took a swig.

Edge grinned at her. "So, how's it feel to know you can actually get away with bossing us all around now?"

Lita shot a half smile in his direction. "Feels good."

"Yeah, must feel real good to punish someone for getting you out of a certain death situation," Matt grumbled.

Lita set down her bottle of water deliberately. "Matt, I explained this before,"

Rob picked up his tray. "I've got to go…"

Jackie put out her cigar and started to stand. "Yeah, me too. I gotta check on some engine problem…"

The rest of the crew all began moving, as if to follow suit.

"STAY," Lita ordered.

They all sat down again.

"Matt…all of you…listen. You are all my friends; at least I like to think you are. We are all very close. But if you, any of you, except Chris, decide to question my authority again, I will not be very lenient. I want the same amount of respect you give Chris."

There was a long pause, before Matt stood up angrily. "Then EARN it."

He stormed out.

Matt returned to his quarters and stood in the center of his living room for a few seconds before releasing a huge scream. He then sat down, put his head in his hands once more, and fought the urge to cry. How could she? How in the HELL could she?

There were footsteps outside Matt's door. He heard someone try to open the door and the reply came "Door is locked and privacy is requ…"

A male voice cut the computer off. "Command override, Captain Christopher Jericho."

"Voice match," the computer acknowledged as the doors slid open.

"EARN IT?" Jericho asked Matt as he watched the boy sit and fume. "EARN IT? Matt, the girl earned a fucking level 19! You know how many women have earned a level 19? Two. She's only the second. Only five percent of guys even make a level 19. And that hasn't earned your respect than your standards are too high."

"I'm supposed to take this shit from the woman who supposedly loves me?" Matt spat out.

"Yes, because the woman who loves you happens to be your commanding officer now. And you have to learn how to deal with it."

"She's been sleeping with you, hasn't she?" Matt asked. "She's been fucking you for months, right? That's why she got this job."

"Could you be anymore of a bratty ass-clown?" Jericho asked. "I AM THE BRATTY ONE ON THIS SHIP. AND I HAVE NOT FUCKED YOUR GIRLFRIEND." Jericho took a deep breath. "Though at this point, she seems more like your ex. She walked out of the mess hall with her head high, but ten to one she's in her room hating herself for this. And she does not deserve this."

"Well, what does she deserve?" Matt challenged.

"Respect. And if you can't or don't respect her, there's the problem of the rest of the crew not respecting her. We can't risk that with an inspection in three days. The point of this rant is, junior, get the fuck over it."

Jericho turned and left. As he was leaving, Jeff rushed into the room before the doors could close.

"What do you want?" Matt asked his brother.

"I can't side with you on this one, Matt," Jeff replied. "She's good, she's damn good. Given the opportunity she could have earned a dead eye already. So get over it. And after this, never call me immature again."

Matt put his head back in his hands and only heard his brother leave the room.

"Door is locked and privacy is requ…"

"Command override, Captain Christopher Jericho."

"Voice match," Jericho heard the computer announce as he entered Lita's quarters.

He approached the crying red head. "You okay, Red?"

"How can he hate me?" she sobbed. "I told him I didn't want to, but dammit Chris, he nearly got Edge killed."

"I know Red. He's just being an asshole, that's all," Jericho sat down beside her on the couch. "And you've handled assholes before."

"But I've hated those assholes before. I don't hate Matt."

Chris could see that she had a photo frame in her hands, containing a picture of herself, Jeff, and Matt on the day they found out they were being stationed together. Chris remembered the fit Lita's then boyfriend Essa Rios had thrown, the intense Spanish rant he'd subjected her to. Saying something about her "running off with those boys again," and how "she planned this so she could leave him" and possibly something about "not watering the sheep last week." Jericho's Spanish only went so far.

Essa had verbally abused her. But it was when he'd physically hit her Chris had been tempted to go after the ass-clown himself. Would have, if the Hardy's hadn't beaten him to it. Truth be told, Lita was like his kid sister, and Matt's accusing him of fucking her was like being accused of incest. His heart lay elsewhere, and everyone on the ship knew that.

Whether HE'D admit it to them or not, he was in love with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. Plus, she loved him back.

And if the crew ever found out, he'd have to kill them all.

But this wasn't about him and Steph right now, it was about Lita and Matt and their problems.

"Chris, I don't know if I can do this. Is anyone going to take me seriously and not just look at me as Matt's girlfriend?"

"I think you already know they're not going to think of you like that," Jericho assured her. "But it's up to you. It's a choice you've got to make." His com started going off. "Ah, what the hell?"

He flipped opened his com. "What is it?"

"Um, captain," Shane's voice was shaky on the other end of the com. "We have a slight problem with the inspectors. They're here. Now."

"Fucking hell?" Chris asked. "What are they doing here so soon?"

"Stephanie said something about wanting to get to this one fast. I think we're in trouble."

"Are they starting the inspection NOW?"

"No, they're waiting for tomorrow. But they want to spend the night on the ship."

"I'll be right there," Chris closed the com and put it back on his belt. "Sorry kid, we'll continue this later. But right now, you've gotta dry your eyes and we have to greet our unwelcome guests."

"Well, well, well," Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley smirked as she entered the ship. "Captain Christopher Jericho, what an honor. I intend to have a lot of fun with this one."

"If your idea of fun is putting up with my brand of humor for the next few days, then we're going to have a grand old time," Jericho smiled widely at her.

"Well, I can see with the way this is going, we may have a few problems, Captain Jericho."

"The only problem we'll have Mrs. McMahon-Helmsley, is if your little friends burst and drown out all the equipment."

"Captain Jericho," Stephanie snapped, standing nose to nose with him, "I do not believe that you should take such liberties when speaking with me, seeing as how your job will be dependent on the next few days."

Jericho laughed. "Honey, my job may depend on you, but my gag reflex is reacting to you."

"Jericho!" She looked at him wide eyed as her husband and her brother entered the room.

"Are you starting already?" Steph's brother Shane asked. "Can't you wait until we're at least settled to begin insulting my sister?"

"No," Jericho said matter-of-factly to Shane.

Lita stood behind Jericho, stifling a giggle. Shane shot her a look, as did the newly arrived Commissioner William Regal. He stared at her with his better-than-thou art scowl. "Young lady, is it really appropriate for you to be laughing at a superior officer?"

"Lita," Jericho turned to the girl. "You have my full permission to laugh at Commissioner Ass-Clown and the Golden Son."

"Duly noted, sir," Lita nodded, hands behind her back.

Hunter dropped the bags on the floor. "Can I get some help here?"

Chris turned to the rest of the crew. "Hurricane? Jeff? You guys wanna help Hunter with his bags?"

The two boys picked up the bags. Shane looked up at Stephanie in amazement. "You're Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley?"

She nodded. "And you are?"

"Shane Helms. But everyone out here calls me Hurricane."

"Hurricane?" Regal asked. "I don't think that's the appropriate way to address a crew member, Captain Jericho. Call signs are only to be used during combat purposes."

"Maybe closer to home, Commissioner, but it's how we address each other out here. And I don't think the way I address my crew is any business of yours."

Regal smiled. "It will be my business tomorrow, Captain."

"As I understand, Commissioner. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure your bags get to your rooms. Lita, show Hunter and Stephanie to their room. I'll take care of Shane, Regal, and…who else is back there?"

A bald headed man entered the room.

Jericho winced. "Austin…good to see you."

"Shut up, Jericho. Do you know who I am? I am Stone Cold Steve Austin."

"Of course. Right this was Stone Cold Steve Ass-Clown."

"What?"

"Stone Cold Steve Austin."

Lita led Hunter and Stephanie to the quarters they'd set aside for them. "Here's where you'll be staying."

Stephanie looked around the suite. "This isn't exactly what I had expected."

Lita panicked internally. "We had to make due with what we had. I'm sorry."

"You know, I believe I'm going to have a word with the Captain."

Stephanie turned and walked out the door.

When she was gone, Hunter turned to Lita. "Why do I have a feeling that word is 'orgasm'?"

Lita laughed, softly in spite of herself. "You think she's cheating on you?"

"I KNOW she's cheating on me. I have known it for years."

"Well, pardon me for saying this, but I'm not exactly feeling sympathetic here."

"What?"

"Well, last time we met, you and Austin kicked my ass for defending Matt," Lita reminded him. "The bar incident? I still have a scar."

Hunter shrugged. "Yeah, you survived. You survived and then you came out here and proved you're tougher than most of the females I've ever met."

"And that matters because?"

Hunter shrugged. "I LIKE tough girls."

Lita rolled her eyes. "Yet you married Steph?"

"She's tough, in her own way. Not like you, Jackie, and…Chy…"

Lita was quiet for a second. Then, against her better judgment, she looked at hunter sympathetically. "You took losing her hard, didn't you?"

Hunter nodded. "I was in love with her, completely and utterly. I left her for Stephanie because I wanted more power. More money, more EVERYTHING. I lost her." Hunter sat down on the couch. "And of all the people in the world, I open up to you."

"After you nearly killed me, might I add," Lita sat down beside him.

"Yeah. I did. And then I ended up getting hurt and having to sit standby for a long time. I came back and Austin's a pussy, my wife's deep in her affair, and Regal's an ass." He thought for a moment. "Okay, that last part isn't really that much of a change. Point is, I'm sick of it."

"I can understand," Lita said, feeling like she was betraying herself with every word. "I'm having problems of my own."

Hunter stood up and mixed himself a drink. He motioned to Lita who shook her head. "I'm on duty."

Hunter nodded in understanding and sat back down beside her. "What kind of problems?"

"Boy trouble. Matt troubles. I had to ground him after he did something stupid, and now he's pissed off at me."

"You decided to lay down the law and he got angry, right?"

"Exactly."

Hunter nodded. "Look, let me try and explain. I'm not defending him, but you have to understand. We guys…we all still have caveman instincts. We've evolved out of many of them, but they still retain others. Like jealousy anytime any touches their wife," Hunter spat out.

"So, you're saying Matt's upset because a woman told him what to do?"

"No, Matt's upset because HIS woman told him what to do."

"You really think that's his problem?"

"Yeah, sounds like it."

"How do you know these things?"

"Because Matt's acting like a total asshole. And it takes an asshole to know an asshole."

"Captain Jericho, I have some things to say to you."

Jericho spun around to face Stephanie. She stood in his doorway, smirking at him and holding a bottle of champagne. "You want something to drink, Captain?"

"Well, Mrs. McMahon-Helmsley, I'm on duty, and I have an inspection coming up tomorrow."

She slipped into the room. "Oh, I think you're gonna pass with flying colors."

Jericho stood still as she approached him. "Hmmm…how am I gonna do that?"

"Well, it might be because you have a very special relationship with someone who owns Regal's ass," she teased as she set down the champagne bottle.

"Don't bring his ass into this," Chris muttered as she slipped her arms around his neck. "You have the only ass I'm interested in." He kissed her deeply, nudging his tongue into her mouth. She returned the kiss just as passionately as they moved towards his bedroom. Jericho broke the embrace for a split second to dim the lights, and then moved towards the love of his life.

"She's hot!" Hurricane exclaimed Rob and Edge as he crashed in the common room. "She's fricking hot!"

"She's a bitch," Edge warned him. "She's a selfish, spoilt little brat. There's nothing hot about her."

"Except her body!" Shane exclaimed. "And her voice…and she's so smart."

Rob smiled sadly at the kid, "Look, kid, she screws everybody and plays favorites. I remember…"

"Uh, oh. Flashback time…" Edge rolled his eyes.

Rob flipped him the bird before continuing. "Right before I was assigned out here, There was a lotto to see who'd end up here and who'd end up at base. I should have been put on the base, but Austin cheated and set it up so another friend of his got the base, and I ended up out here."

"And Stephanie just went with it?" Shane asked, amazed.

"Yes, she did. She didn't do anything to piss off Austin. He was her and her brother's golden boy. I think it's sickening," Rob confessed.

"But…she's changed, right? She's not the same woman she was then?"

"I don't know," Rob exclaimed. "I don't think she can change."

"She's gorgeous."

"She's dangerous."

"She's…"

"Fucking Jericho," Tori announced as she joined the boys. "She's fucking him in his quarters right now, if I know her."

"Of course, she's fucking him," another female voice joined. Everyone cringed as the medical officer, Trish Stratus, entered the room. "I wouldn't doubt it."

"Yeah, well you fucked her daddy to get a job, so you're worse in my book," Tori smiled at Trish as she said this.

Trish raised a perfectly tweezed eyebrow. "Um…and who was body guarding her for cash?"

Tori's expression darkened. "I did what I had to do."

"So did I," Trish smirked at her. "And I did it well."

"Obviously not well enough if you're stuck out here," Jackie filled in. "If you were any good at all you'd have your cushy job at base and only the real tough bitches would be out here." She accentuated this by slapping Tori five.

"What's up, Space Cowgirl?" Tori asked.

"They wanna give us a Trainee, some kid named Nidia. Sounds like she's tough enough to handle it."

"You really think she's gonna cut it?" Tori lounged in one of the chairs.

"She went through basics with flying colors," Jackie sat backwards on one of the chairs at the card table and lit a cigar. "I'd say she sounds like she could handle it."

There was a collective groan as Commissioner Regal entered the room. "Hello everyone, how are we this…Dear god, are you smoking a cigar in here?"

Jackie shrugged. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Do you realize that smoking is bad for you health? And more over, do you realize how un-ladylike that is?"

"Un-ladylike?" Jackie stood up and got in the Commissioner's face. "You wanna see un-ladylike? Then try this!" She pushed the lit end of the cigar into his forehead, and then kneed him in the groin. "Now, that's un- ladylike."

There was a roaring round of applause for Jackie as she sat back down. "Oh, and that stays off the record 'cause your damned inspection don't start until tomorrow. Now get the hell out of here."

Regal retreated as quickly as he'd arrived.

Lita was still talking to Hunter when she sensed something was wrong. "Hold on for a second…" she instructed as she headed for the windows. She paused for a second, then her eyes widened. "Hunter, I have to go." She ran for the door, while pulling her com off of her belt. "Everyone to battle stations, red alert! We're under attack, repeat, under attack!"

"How in the hell can we be under attack NOW?" Edge bitched as he pulled on his jacket and ran from his room.

"Don't ask me," Rob answered, hopping on one foot as he pulled on his right boot. "I don't get it either."

Tori met them in the hall as they hurried towards the docking bay. "Yeah, can you believe these guys. First they break border treaty, and then they do it in the middle of the night."

Lita was heading for her ship when she saw Matt climbing into his. "Matt, what the hell are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm gonna go stop this," he replied.

"Matt, you are grounded. Remember? Get out of there now."

"Lita, you can't be serious!"

"I am VERY serious Matt. Get out of there."

"I'm not going to!"

Lita breathed deeply, closing her eyes and trying to calm herself.

"Matt, out of the ship!" Jericho came to her aid from behind her. "NOW!"

Matt scowled and climbed out of the cockpit of the small fighter ship. Jericho turned to Lita. "I'm flying this one for you."

"Chris…"

"You are not in a mental state that equates to flying. Go to the bridge and direct traffic."

Lita paused, then nodded. "Understood." Then, quietly, "Gracious."

Jericho shrugged. "I already watered the sheep," he assured her. He ran for his own ship and climbed in. "See you when we get back."

Lita saluted the others, and then headed for the bridge.

"Full screen," Lita ordered on the bridge. "I want clear visuals at all times."

"Understood," the computer replied.

"What's going on?" Stephanie asked as she rushed onto the bridge.

"Under attack. We've gotta cut 'em off now." Lita answered, her eyes never leaving the screen. She adjusted the small microphone like device near her mouth. "Role call ladies and gents. X-treme Two?"

"Ready and rarin' to go!" Jeff answered.

"Tortured Soul?"

Edge whooped into her earpiece.

"Mr. Monday Night?"

"You've got the whole F'in show right here."

"Good to know," Lita responded. "Ninja Girl?"

"Dammit, I am changing my call name again!" Tori yelled.

Jackie laughed from behind Lita. "How many times will that be, Miss Green Goddess?"

"Shut up Jackie, I heard that."

"Lionheart, you read me?"

"Of course I do, Red. We're heading in."

Lita watched carefully as the ships headed for the hot zone. "I want you to be careful in there. No high risk maneuvers until I clear it, read me?"

There was a groan that Lita assumed was Jeff. "I mean it, X-Treme Two. Nothing stupid."

"I hear you, I hear you," Jeff replied.

Lita studied what she could see on screen. "It looks like they've got an unprotected left side. Steer clear, it's a trap. I've seen this formation before."

Regal appeared beside her. "Why aren't they approaching in standard formation?"

"Because out here your enemies don't typically use standard formation," Lita told him, covering the microphone while keeping her eyes focused on the screen.

"This is very far away from standard procedure."

Lita grit her teeth. "Well, Commissioner, out here we are fairly far removed from standard procedure out here." She spoke into her mike again. "Mr. Monday Night? I want you a strong offense out there. In and out as fast as possible, okay?"

"Got it Red."

Lita switched off the mike and turned to Jackie. "What are the conditions of the ship?"

"Edge's ship took a beating last time. I tried to fix as much as I could, but it was pretty rough. It'll fly, and he should be in good shape. Other than that, they're in top shape."

Regal looked at Jackie. "And do you smoke cigars while you work on the ships as well?"

"Yeah. And when I'm done I sit down with a six pack and a Playgirl, what's your problem?"

"Cut it out!" Lita ordered, turning the mike on again. "Alright folks, I want a basic Twist of Fate. Lionheart, you flying X-Treme One's position?"

"Yeah. What side should we go from?"

"Jackie, what kind of ships are we dealing with out there?"

"Hmmm, looks like old R-452's. Completely shielded on the bottom and sides."

"So we've gotta hit them high. Alright, Twist of Fate as quickly as possible to get them worn down. Then I want strong aerial offence. Mr. Monday Night nail them as hard as you can. Ninja Girl, put them through some tables."

"Got it," Tori registered as she flew into position.

"X-treme Two, when you've recovered from the Twist of Fate, I want you to hit them with a Swanton Bomb."

"Read ya loud and clear Red."

The crew began the attacks as she had instructed. Just as Jeff was about to fire off his missiles, Lita caught site of a problem.

"X-Treme Two, pull out! They're waiting for it!"

She watched as Jeff tried to pull out, but failed. The missiles went off anyway and Lita watched the other ship move, taking absolutely no damage.

"X-Treme Two, you're out of big guns. Hang back."

Jeff obeyed.

"We're going to have to try something different. Mr. Monday Night, think you can handle a simple MoonSault?"

"No problem Red."

"Just don't think you're stealing my signature off of me. I'm loaning it to ya."

"Understood."

Rob flipped backwards, aiming for the lower ship. He nailed a direct hit, and the crew on the bridge watched the explosion.

"We're down one people. Let's keep it up. X-Treme Two, what the hell are you doing?"

"I wanna try the Swanton again."

"Your out of big ammo."

"I wanna try it with the smaller stuff."

"It won't work X-Treme Two. Physical impossibility."

"Not if I fire two rounds instead of one."

Lita paused for a split second to calculate. "You may be right. But even so, I don't like the risk factor involved."

"Shit!" Tori broke in. "I'm hit. We've gotta finish these bastards now Red."

"Tortured Soul, how long has it been since you tried a DownWard Spiral?"

"Not sure. Over a year, I think."

"You remember how?"

"It's like riding a bike."

"Nail the sons of bitches."

Edge spiraled down onto the enemy, guns bursting. He waited until the last possible second before pulling out.

"How many did I get?"

"Only three. We've gotta take one more down to be in the safe zone."

"Red?"

"What is it X-Treme Two?"

"Tell Matt I love him if I don't come back!"

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

Lita watched Jeff set up for another Swanton.

"Somebody stop him! NOW!"

She watched Chris beat Jeff into position and set himself up for something.

"Lionheart, what the HELL are you doing? There's not enough free airspace for a MoonSault."

"I know."

She watched in horror as Chris began the move anyway, zooming straight for the enemy ship.

"Lionheart, what is going on out there?"

Chris's ship got closer and closer.

"Pull out now."

Closer…

"NOW!"

Closer…

"DAMMIT CHRIS."

The ship fired off its two biggest guns. The other ship exploded in a fiery ball.

"Pull out Lionheart, you're heading into the explosion."

Chris's ship didn't pull out.

It headed straight into the heart of the explosion.

And it didn't come back out.

The other ships were retreating, and Lita could hear her crew celebrating in her earpiece.

"Lionheart, come in," she half whispered.

No answer.

"Lionheart, come in now," a little louder.

Still no answer.

"LIONHEART?" she screamed.

Static.

"GOD DAMMIT CHRIS! ANWER ME! YOU HAVE TO BE THERE!"

Still more static.

"Red, what's wrong?" Jeff broke in.

"Chris…" Lita choked. "I didn't see him come out of the explosion."

"He made it out Red."

"Is he on your homing screen?"

"Nah, but his device was probably screwed up in the fight. He made it out."

Lita pause. "Alright. Everyone get back here. I want your radios switched off and only turned back on in an emergency."

The radios clicked off. Lita took of her earpiece quickly. "Computer, locate the ship belonging to Captain Christopher Jericho."

"Damage Report. Ship destroyed."

Lita heard Stephanie gasp.

"Check again," Lita ordered.

"Damage Report. Ship destroyed. Casualties: Captain Christopher Jericho."

"No," Stephanie whispered. Lita couldn't blame her, she herself was thinking the same thing.

"Margin of error?" Lita asked the computer.

".01 margin of error. Ship's sensor is still responding. Cockpit was blown out of ship, no chance of survivors."

Stephanie maintained her composure. Lita looked at her and knew exactly what was going through the other woman's head.

Down in the docking bay, the crew was whooping it up, celebrating another victory. Then, they saw Lita, Jackie, Trish, Matt, Hurricane, and Stephanie.

"Why are you so depressed! Come on, we won!" Rob grinned at them. "Look, when Chris gets back we'll…"

The cringe on Lita's face gave it away.

"Oh my god…"Tori whispered.

Lita nodded. "He's dead…" she explained as she finally gave in and began to cry.

Edge ran to her and hugged her. "It's okay, it's okay kid."

"I didn't know what he was going to do…" Lita cried. "I didn't know he was going to try that."

"You couldn't have stopped him," Edge whispered.

"Yes I could have," Lita sobbed. "I should've flown, not him."

Matt looked on as Edge hugged Lita, and jealousy flared up inside of him. He knew it was inappropriate, and he knew Edge was only trying to comfort her. But that didn't help. He was jealous as all hell.

Stephanie began sobbing too at this point, in her own quiet way. Hurricane turned to her and hugged her gently to comfort her. She hugged back to his surprise. She was crying into his shoulder in soft sobs.

The others were milling about, trying to decide how to react. Jackie was trying to remain stoic, but her eyes were quivering almost imperceptivity. Tori was frozen in shock and was hanging on to Jeff's shoulder for support. Jeff was wiping at his eyes, and then pulled his hand back to reveal smudged black eyeliner on his hand. Rob snarled and began punching at the side of his ship as if that could solve anything.

There was a somber air in the docking bay when Commissioner Regal entered it. "Well, we've all had a very busy night, haven't we? It is now two o'clock in the morning. Your inspection begins at eight. Lita Dumas, as first officer on this ship, it is now your duty to act as Captain due to Jericho's untimely demise. I'll see you all in a few hours."

And with that, he left in his stuffy and brisk manner.


	2. Boiler

Same disclaimer as before. I don't own the characters or likenesses. No affiliation with the WWE/F.

Lita chased after Regal as he walked down the hall away from the crew. "What the fuck do you mean the inspection starts at eight?"

"Well, I don't see why we should let this little inconvenience stop our business," Regal confessed with no change to his voice.

Lita growled. "Regal, you asshole, do you understand what you are asking my crew to do? You are asking them to shrug off a huge loss so you can poke and prod at us!"

Regal turned on her. "Captain Dumas, I see no need to postpone this evaluation. I'll begin by examining the medical facilities, then a basic tour of the ship, and finally a run through of a code red emergency."

"Code RED?" Lita asked. "You mean what they just went through tonight? You can't just use what they did tonight and just fire my ass for gross incompetence?"

Lita was suddenly aware that the crew was standing behind her in support.

Regal cleared his throat. "I can't do that because I would be required to count the entire day. And that would require me to court marshal your entire crew for an incident involving Miss Jacqueline burning my head with a cigar and kneeing me in my genitals which your crew did nothing to prevent."

Lita turned to Jackie. "You did that?"

Jackie nodded.

Lita turned to the rest of the crew. "And you just let her?"

They all nodded as well.

"Good job," Lita said. Then, to Regal "You can't make an exception? Just this once?"

Regal looked appalled. "Young lady, if I make an exception for you I am going against my code of ethics. You'll just have to move on with your lives."

"I agree," Stephanie moved away from Lita's crew to join Regal. "There's no need to let this interfere with anything."

Tori's mouth fell open. "What in the hell? Chris dies and you're supporting REGAL?"

Stephanie nodded. "I happen to agree with the Commissioner." She approached Lita and whispered into her ear, "It should have been you out there." Then she turned and walked away.

Eight AM came too soon for the crew. Lita arrived on the bridge to address the others, minus Trish.

"Last night, we lost a dear friend and a powerful captain. Christopher Jericho was taken from us abruptly. And, as upset as we are, I can't do anything to postpone the inspection. I'm planning a eulogy for the day after tomorrow. Until then we just have to go on with our lives. There's nothing I can do."

"There's something I can do!" Jackie threatened, beginning to stand up.

Lita held out her hands in a "stop" gesture. "Jackie, don't make things worse for us right now. We just get through this and we're okay."

Jackie paused, then sat back down.

"Now, just go along with whatever Regal says. I know he's an asshole, but he's an asshole who decides our futures right now."

Everyone nodded solemnly. "Where is he right now?" Edge asked.

"Inspecting the medical facilities. I want everyone back here at eleven for the inspection, no exceptions. We have to get him out of here as quickly as possible. Now, go do whatever you have to do," she said.

As the crew began to leave, Edge lingered a bit. "Lita, can I talk to you?"

Lita nodded, "Let's go to my room."

Once the two were back in Lita's quarters, she let the façade she was keeping up fade a bit.

"Lita…last night…I just…"

"I understand Edge," Lita assured him. "I get it. You're upset, I can understand."

"If I had just fired off one more round during the Spiral…" he pounded his fist against the wall.

"You'd be dead. Edge," Lita told him. "You can't blame yourself, you had nothing to do with his death. The fact remains that he flew for me, so I should be the one who died."

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Edge yelled at her. "Don't say that." He placed his hands on her shoulders. "You can't even suggest something like that."

"I'm not suggesting it," Lita said, not seeming to accept the touch but not pulling away either. "It's the truth Edge. I should have flown, not him."

Edge pulled her closer to him. "No. No, that's not true. You shouldn't feel like that. He made his choice to fly. I was out there, I should've had his back." Edge then got a bit bolder and wrapped his arms around her back, holding her tightly.

"Edge…this isn't right," Lita whispered. "Not this, not now."

"Then pull away," he told her. "Tell me to let go."

"I…I," Lita stammered. "I don't want to. Why are you doing this?"

Edge's breath was hot on her skin. "I can't help it. It…it…"

"It just feels right," Lita stammered as tears began to fall down her cheeks once more.

The two were so unaware of the rest of the world that they didn't even hear the door slide open. Nor did they hear Matt's shocked gasp as he saw them embracing, Edge running his hand across her back.

Matt growled deep in his throat before leaving them alone again.

Stephanie stood in Chris's old room, the open bottle of Don Perignon clenched in her fist. She took another deep swig from it and wiped the steady stream of tears from her face. It should have been that bitch! She should have been out there! She should have…should've….

"FUCK!" Steph yelled as loudly as she could. "Fuck it all!"

She heard a voice outside her door. "Steph? It's…Shane…Hurricane?"

"Go away, I don't wanna talk to anyone."

"Stephanie, please just let me talk to you. Look, Jackie once gave me a great bit of advice, don't drink to forget, drink to remember."

Stephanie glared angrily at the door. "I'm not drinking!"

"Of course not, you're just holding that half empty bottle of champagne for no real reason."

Stephanie looked over towards the door. "Grant access to Shane Helms."

Shane entered the room and looked at her. Her hair was disheveled, and her eye makeup was completely gone from her crying jag. She was sprawled on the couch and looked as if she'd been wasted for a very, very long time.

"Stephanie, you look awful."

Her look was sarcastic. "How am I supposed to look? I lost the man I was in love with last night. Forever, because some bitch decided she didn't wanna risk her life."

Shane shook his head. "Stephanie, Chris told her not to fly for the safety of the entire team."

"I don't care," Steph snapped. "She should have died. Why didn't she stop him?"

"It's hard to stop Chris when he decides to do something. Lita didn't want him to do the LionSault, not even Jeff'll attempt that one."

"Chris is still dead," Stephanie argued through clenched teeth.

Shane sat down beside her and tried to ease the champagne from her grip. "Well, this isn't going to bring him back. You still have a job to do."

Steph held on tighter to the bottle. "Go to hell, Helms."

Hurricane sighed. "That isn't the solution Stephanie, and you know it."

Stephanie finally released the bottle and fell into Shane's arms. She cried violently, heaving and gasping. She swore anytime she got the chance, burying herself deeper into Hurricane's shoulder.

Rob Van Dam found himself in the fitness room, beating mercilessly on a punching bag. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. His thoughts were in sync with his beating on the bag.

"What the hell's your problem?" Rob didn't even stop when he heard Austin's voice behind him. "You act like it's some big deal It was just Jericho and we all know he was a moron."

Rob still didn't turn around.

"Will you look at me when I talk to you son?"

Rob finally turned around. "Let me alone Austin. There was a time I looked up to you. Now, you're just a…you're just an ass-clown."

He returned to his bag, once more beating it to death.

"And this," Trish told Regal, "is our sick bay. We keep the injured here when they need special attention."

"Thank you very much Miss Stratus. Everything here seems to be in working order."

"I try Commissioner."

"And you do an excellent job." Regal checked another box off on his list before turning to Shane. "Where are we headed next?"

"The hangar. We're supposed to inspect the condition of the ships."

Regal reached up and felt the burn mark still on his forehead. "I think we'll just pass them on that. I trust Miss Jacqueline is a competent mechanic."

Shane shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever you say."

As they were leaving, Tori entered the room. "Trish, I need you to look at something. My shoulder got jarred again when I took that big hit. I just need you to check on it."

Trish approached the taller woman and cautiously placed her hands on the shoulder. "Roll it."

Tori obeyed. Trish moved so she was standing facing Tori's right side. "Roll it."

Tori did.

Trish moved around to Tori's back. "Roll it."

Tori winced. "I can't."

"Can you move it at all?"

"Well, let me try…" Tori slowly raised her arm, then shot her elbow back, nailing Trish in the face.

"What the FUCK?" Trish yelled.

"I saw you thrusting your tits out at Regal. We are less than twenty- four hours removed from the loss of our captain in battle, and you're in here prancing around for those two ASSHOLES!"

Trish rubbed her nose. "Well, you didn't have to hit me so hard!"

"Trish, with how hard your head is, I had to. I wanted to make sure you got the message." Tori tossed at her before leaving.

Later that day, Regal approached Lita. "Well, Captain, it appears that your ship is in working order, and your crew is very…"

"Talented?" Lita suggested.

"In a way…yes…" Regal gave in. "We have only to run through that code red situation and you all pass."

Lita stared him down. "Are you sure you won't give us three days to put this behind us? We're less than twenty-four hours removed from this."

"Captain Dumas, you misunderstand. I'm not testing your crew."

Lita smiled. "You mean?"

"Yes, Captain. This test is purely for you. We run you through a simulated code red and see what happens."

Lita's face fell. "Oh, alright. Well, I guess we should…start…"

Finding herself in front of the simulator screen once more, Lita tried not to hyperventilate. "I'm ready."

Regal smiled at her. Behind him, Rob was shooting her a thumbs-up, Jackie was flipping Regal off while he couldn't see it, and Jeff had the guns by his head. Lita nodded, smiled, and tried to convince herself she was really as ready as she claimed to be.

"Now, we just need someone to fly the sim…any volunteers?"

Matt stepped forward. "I'll do it. Since I can't fly anywhere else."

Regal gestured for Matt to step into the recreation of a cockpit. Matt did, and the door closed behind him.

Lita adjusted her earpiece. "Alright, let's get started. We have a code red situation, I want safety to be our top priority out there."

"Roger that," Matt responded. The ship on the screen took off and Lita crossed her fingers.

"X-Treme One, be very careful. There's a major break in formation right in front, don't let them lead you too far in. Take advantage of it, but don't get cocky."

"Read you Red," Matt took the ship into the approaching horde.

"Okay, I don't wanna try a Twist of Fate right now…too risky. Is there anyway to risk a one man Poetry in Motion?"

There was a second of silence. "I think I see a way. If I have enough room I should be alright."

Lita looked over the positions on the screen. "Slowly X-Treme One. Don't let them know what you're doing."

Matt positioned himself carefully, and Lita's heart jumped when she realized it was going to work. The ship was just about to enter firing range when she heard Matt's frantic voice.

"Too many…I can't… Red I can't! Malfunction! Malfunction!"

"Matt!" Lita yelled. "Get the fuck out of there!"

"I can't. No steering…Oh God, Lita!"

The ship on screen exploded.

Lita fell to her kneed, head in her hands. "Noooo…" She slowly began rocking back and forth. "No…"

Matt exited the sim and looked at her. "What happened?"

"I…I…screwed up again." Lita said in an almost monotone voice.

"Oh Red…" Matt sighed. "Maybe…maybe you're just not right for the job." With this he looked at Edge. "Even if it just feels right."

Edge looked like he was about to jump Matt right there and then and rip his head off. Rob grabbed his shoulder and held him in place.

Matt looked at Regal. "It's been so traumatic with her lately."

Regal nodded. "I understand Matthew, and I could take that into consideration."

Lita stood up, slowly. "Thank you."

"I said I could. But I won't. It's not fair, you understand?"

Jeff's voice broke the silence. "What are you saying?"

"I am saying that with my authority, I hereby relieve Lita Dumas of her duties as Captain of this vessel. I also order her to return the main base to be tried for gross incompetence leading to the death of a superior officer."

Jaws dropped all around the room. Hurricane and Stephanie, who had just entered the room, looked at the shock on the faces of the crew. Stephanie looked at Lita's crushed face and wanted to think "Good. Bitch got what she deserved."

But she just couldn't.

The shock on Lita's face finally gave way to anger. She growled and jumped at Matt. "YOU SET ME UP FOR THIS! YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Austin wrapped his arm around her waist and held her back. "She's violent. Dangerous. I think she needs to be contained."

"Lock her in Jericho's old quarters," Shane instructed. "She'll come back with us tomorrow."

As she was being led off, Lita locked eyes with Stephanie. Finally she simply said, "You were right. It should have been me last night."

"What the hell is going on here?" Hunter demanded as he watched Austin drag Lita towards Jericho's quarters. He hadn't wanted to watch the inspection itself, he found it frankly boring. He was here to be the trophy husband.

Austin shrugged. "Kid's been relieved of her command. She went for Matt Hardy's throat and Regal ordered her contained.

"Contained?" Hunter asked.

"Matt set me up!" Lita yelled before Austin's hand covered her mouth. She bit down as hard as she could, causing Austin to let her go for a second.

She ran to Hunter and grabbed ahold of him. "They set me up to fail a test. Now I'm being tried for gross incompetence. You've gotta do something!" She screamed as Austin grabbed her, tighter than before. "HUNTER, PLEASE!"

Hunter watched Austin drag the girl off. Then he headed for Matt's room.

"So you understand Matt, what you did was necessary," Shane was explaining to the older Hardy. "When you told us about Lita's little infatuation with Edge…well, that was the last straw. Romance between captain and crew is always frowned upon out here."

Matt nodded in hesitant agreement. "What's going to happen to her?"

"She won't be in deep trouble. The case will never fly in court. She'll just be repositioned some where they can keep an eye on her."

"What about command of this ship?"

"Regal's going to run things until we decide that," Shane assured him. "Thank you so much for your help Matt. Couldn't have done it without you." He left Matt alone with his thoughts.

But before Matt could even begin to think, his brother entered the room. "Did you set her up? Were you that angry with her that you set her up?" Jeff demanded from his brother.

Matt nodded slowly.

"Then fuck you Matt," Jeff said before leaving him again.

Hoping to get some privacy, Matt ran his hand down over his eyes and groaned. He'd only done what had to be…

Before that thought could finish, Hunter was in his room and had him pinned to the wall. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER?"

Matt gasped for air in the older man's tight grip. "Shane asked me to help get her fired."

Hunter picked Matt clean up off the ground and slammed him into his small coffee table. "You listen to me. That kid was good. Now she's screwed all because you felt threatened."

"Like you've never done anything similar." Matt accused. "I seem to remember someone dumping Chyna right before she flew a level 19."

Hunter tightened his grip. "And you're saying I was right?"

"No," Matt answered, running on sheer adrenaline. "I'm saying that you're trying to substitute Lita for Chyna in order to not repeat your mistakes. And that in the process you've managed to become infatuated with the bitch. Well, she's a whore. She was sleeping with me, in all likelihood she was fucking Jericho, and now she's moved on to Edge. So you'd just be another in a long line of pretty boys she's used once and discarded."

Hunter let go of Matt's throat. "She didn't fuck Jericho. The only woman fucking Jericho was my wife."

"Why'd you let it happen?"

"I just didn't care enough about the marriage to stop it. It was a set up, the whole thing. We both knew it from the start. And now she's moved onto that Hurricane kid. I don't really know that it bothers me."

Matt took his chances at sitting up. "Lita grounded me. She kept me from flying. Then I find her in there with Edge…she'd moved on so quickly."

"Did you ever think Edge was consoling her over losing Jericho?"

"WHY DIDN'T SHE COME TO ME?" Matt demanded.

"Because from what I've seen and heard you've been an asshole to her because she did her job. Not the person she'd want to see in an emergency."

Hunter sighed and left the room. After a second, he stuck his head back in. "Oh and Matt, I'm not infatuated with her."

Matt just looked at him.

"I'm in love with her."

"Well, Commissioner, I can understand why you had to do that to Lita," Trish batted her eyelashes. "She's always seemed like a loose cannon to me."

Before Regal could comment, Tori burst into the sick bay again. "You wanna talk loose, let's talk loose. I've slept around in my day, granted. But never for power or prestige and never with someone as gross as the boys you've fucked."

"That's kind of strange to hear coming from X-Pac's former fuck toy!" Trish shot back, ignoring Regal and Shane.

"You don't get it, do you? This whole thing reeks of a set up! I mean, for all we know, these guys killed Jericho."

There was a long, uncomfortable pause.

Trish suddenly smiled. "And who do you think was the woman on the inside?"

Tori backed off in shock. "You're shitting me."

"Nope. I told them every little plan, every little conversation, EVERYTHING. And they promised me a cushy office job back at the main base."

"You killed Jericho?" Tori asked.

"Oh, heavens no," Regal inserted. "We simply sent him away for awhile. And you'll be joining him very soon."

Tori ran.

She heard footsteps come after her as she tried to get to Jericho's old room. She had to tell Lita…

Shane tackled her from behind, driving her right shoulder into the ground as he took her down. Tori screeched in pain, grabbing for her shoulder as Shane stood up again.

"Well, Dr. Stratus," Shane smirked, "looks like she'll need to be treated."

"That's gotta be painful, injuring that shoulder again," Trish gave an evil little smile. "I'd better give her something to knock her out."

Tori felt a needle enter the back of her neck, and then there was nothing.

"She said it herself," Stephanie told Hurricane. "She admitted it should have been her."

"Stephanie," Helms tried to steady his voice to reassure her.

"But, she said it. In all this I never thought that maybe, just maybe, she's been blaming herself for his death. I never even stopped to consider that she was beating herself up with guilt. I've been too busy feeling sorry for myself to realize that she's going through just as much as I am. And now with Matt betraying her, being locked up. I can't even…."

Shane stroked her hair. "It's going to be okay Steph," he whispered.

"But it won't. I could have stopped them from locking her up. I should have stopped them. She wasn't to blame. I am a horrible person."

"No you're not. You're just hurting."

"That's no excuse. No excuse at all…I'm horrible"

Hurricane reached down and tilted Stephanie's chin up so he could look into her eyes. " You are beautiful. And smart. And strong. Intriguing. I couldn't use enough words to describe you." He hesitated only a second before leaning in and kissing her.

To his surprise, she kissed back.

Maybe it was only because she needed someone that night. Maybe it was so she could for a few hours forget what had happened. Maybe she needed someone so she could pretend he was Jericho. But for whatever the reason, Stephanie McMahon Helmsley slept with Shane Helms that night.

Lita was sitting on Jericho's bed the next morning when she heard the door to his quarters slide open. She stood, hoping it was someone there to get her out.

Instead it was Matt.

"How are doing?" He asked.

"Is this my punishment Matt? Is this what I get for being better than you and for trying to protect the lives of the crew?"

"You got too good, Red."

"Don't call me Red ever again. What was the point in all of this? Did you prove what you wanted to, that you're the dominant one in our relationship?"

"You're not being fair,"

"I'M NOT BEING FAIR?" Lita finally exclaimed. "I'm not the one who punished you for a stupid reason! You almost killed Edge, that's why you were punished."

"And you did kill Jericho. That's why you're being punished."

Lita sat back down on the bed. "Leave now, before I have to add first degree murder to my list of charges."

Matt looked at her. "You're not in that much trouble. Shane says the case will never hold up in court, you'll just be reassigned."

"Matt, get out of here, now."

"Commissioner, can we talk?"

Regal recognized Jackie's voice and didn't even turn around for fear of what he'd see.

"Commissioner, the only I hate more than someone telling me not to drink and smoke is when someone doesn't listen to what I'm saying. So turn around and face me, or I'll MAKE YOU."

Regal turned, slowly. "Yes Miss Jacqueline?"

"Look, in the past two days I have put up with some serious shit. One captain is dead, the second one was set up by her boyfriend and is being held against her will. Now my best friend on this ship is missing and you're either gonna tell me where she is or I'm gonna give you an even better reason to court marshal me!"

"Your best friend?"

"Tori you stupid asshole."

"Haven't seen Miss Tori since she went to talk to Trish about a shoulder injury."

Jackie looked skeptical. "She voluntarily went to see Trish about an injury?"

"It was a very bad injury. Her shoulder I believe."

Jackie still looked unsure. "You're telling me, she went to a woman she didn't even trust enough to make cereal without burning it to treat a severely injured shoulder?"

"It must have been very sore."

An hour later, Jackie was outside Jericho's old quarters. "Listen Red, there's something going on here, and I don't like it. Only problem is, I can't get any proof from out here."

From the other side of the door, Lita whispered back to Jackie. "Not much I can do in here."

"What are you talking about? You have the main system access in there."

"I can't access it without Jericho's password."

"Well, it's Jericho. Think about it. I've gotta go."

Lita heard Jackie run away. When she was alone, she sat down at Chris's computer and turned it on. The password prompt appeared. "Here goes nothing."

LIONHEART

ACCESS DENIED. The words were accompanied by little dancing pictures of Jericho flipping her the bird.

"Dammit. This could take awhile."

"Matt?"

After having been abused enough in the past two days, Matt was ready to not answer Edge. Then, remembering that Edge could take a torture soul turn at any time and recalling the damage he'd done to his own brother Christian, he wisely decided to turn around. "Yes?"

"I can stand you almost killing me. I could put up with you acting like an asshole towards Lita. But this…this is just…"

"Look, I've heard it enough from everyone. Every single person on our crew is ready to kill me."

"Oh, I'm not ready to kill you Matt. Killing you wouldn't answer anything."

"Really? And sleeping with my girlfriend would?"

"WHAT?" Edge looked at Matt like he was some kind of moron. "I have never slept with Lita."

"But you would."

"Yes, I'd have to be blind, deaf and dumb to not wanna sleep with her. You have a sexy girlfriend, other guys wanting to sleep with her comes with the territory."

"I saw you with her the day after Jericho died. You were hugging her and rubbing her back."

"Because she's my friend and she just went through a very rough time. Between fighting with you and the inspection and losing Chris she was having a rough time. I wanted to console her. That's what friends do."

"Well, you're a very very good friend then."

Edge turned his head a bit, then smiled at Matt. "Matt, like I said, I'm not going to kill you." He suddenly grabbed Matt by the collar of his uniform. "I can do worse things if I keep you alive for them."

STEPHANIE.

ACCESS DENIED.

"Hunter?"

Hunter looked at Stephanie and knew something was going on. "There's something I have to admit to you."

"You slept with Jericho for…oh roughly two or three years, and now you're sleeping with the Helms kid."

Stephanie blinked. "Yes."

"I knew."

"Oh, okay then. I guess there's not really that much more to talk about."

"Yes there is."

DIRTY SLUT.

ACCESS DENIED.

ASS-CLOWN.

ACCESS DENIED.

Lita was about ready to give up figuring out Jericho's code. There were just too many possibilities…

DIRTY SKEEZY DISGUSTING BRUTAL BOTTOM FEEDING TRASH BAG HO.

CONNECTING.

Lita let out a loud "WHOOP!" as she watched the main interface appear on screen. Then, something caught her eye. A small icon with the word "RED" under it. She double clicked.

A video of Jericho appeared on the screen. "Red, if you're watching this right now, it means I'm gone. And if I haven't erased it yet…well, that means you've got your work cut out for you.

"For the past several months I've been getting ultimatums from the Alliance that if we don't join of our own free will, they'll make us join. I told them each time we'd fight them to the last, and each time they told me the same thing. So, I was aware that we were in danger out here. I also knew they had a plant, so I couldn't mention anything to you.

"Lita, I made you my second because I want you to keep us out of Heyman's Alliance. Shane, Regal, they both want us in. Steph's not involved, she's been alerting me of situations for months. But it stands that you have to watch the crew. I have confidence in you. If it looks like I'm dead, trust me, I'm very much alive, and they have me. Stop them Red, before it's too late."

The video stopped. Lita gasped at what had just been presented to her. She closed the video and opened the file of every security camera on board. She opened the files for the sick bay and started fast forwarding.

She watched and listened in horror as Trish, Shane, and Regal admitted everything to Tori. Lita began quickly opening and closing camera files, watching the chase.

When the tape ended, Lita ran for the door. "Open!" she ordered.

"Voice not recognized."

"Dammit! Regal removed my voice from the files!" Lita slumped against the door.

"Open," she heard from the outside.

"Limited Access. State name."

"Stephanie McMahon Helmsley."

Lita stood up and watched Stephanie enter the room. "Look, I don't like you much Lita, that's no secret. But no matter how long I keep blaming you for Jericho's death, it won't bring him back…"

"But," Lita tried to break in.

"Let me finish. Now, I just struck a deal to get you your ship back. If you want it. It may take some time."

"Steph, we don't have time. The Alliance has Jericho. Somehow they captured him when his ship was destroyed."

Stephanie looked at her. "Are you sure?"

"Come over here," Lita led her to the computer and replayed the fight in the sick bay.

Stephanie inhaled deeply. "That's it. We take down Regal. Now."

"That's right." Hunter answered from the doorway. Let's go."

The sirens in the building started going off wildly. "Code Red situation? Now?" Lita asked, looking at the flashing lights. She ran to Jericho's window and looked outside. "It's those guys from last night."

"Regal's after someone else," Stephanie observed. "He's going to take your whole crew." She gasped. "Oh God. Hurricane."

Lita spun around and headed back out the door, followed by Stephanie and Hunter.

"So, this arrangement you made," Lita started. "Why would you do this if you hate me?"

"I'm getting something out of it myself," Stephanie explained. "Hunter made me an offer I can't refuse."

"What are you getting?"

"If we live through this I'll explain."

Regal directed the crew to the hangar. "We're seriously short handed tonight, so I'll expect everyone to carefully follow my instructions. Good luck."

The crew headed for their ships, except for Matt. Regal looked at him, "Why aren't you flying? I've revoked your grounding!"

"I just…something feels wrong about this."

"Well, Mr. Hardy, you'll just have to make your decision of where your loyalties lie."

Matt still hung back and watched Regal leave the hangar.

"Hey, where the hell do you think you're going?" Austin asked as he obstructed the group's path on their way to the bridge.

Hunter sighed. "We're not letting the Alliance take over."

"And how the hell are you gonna do that?"

Hunter stood nose to nose with Austin. "Like this," he said as he head butted Austin. "Get to the bridge, NOW!" he yelled at Lita and Steph.

The two girls ran past the now fighting boys, heading straight for the bridge.

Tori groaned as she woke up. She tried to bring her hand to her head and found herself strapped to a bed in the sick bay. Then she remembered her scuffle with Shane, and the whole plan she'd overheard.

And she couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Struggling against her bonds, Tori decided that Shane McMahon was going to be disemboweled very soon.

Lita and Steph ran for the bridge at top speed. They were only stopped by two very large obstructions.

"Trish," Steph growled. "I don't think it's been long enough since I've seen you."

"Stephanie, you wouldn't be undermining Mr. Heyman's authority, would you?"

"That's exactly what I'm doing," Stephanie said as she pushed herself into Trish's face. "I think you're all forgetting that I own his ass."

"Doesn't matter. All your guys have more loyalty to him than they ever will to you. What do you say to that?"

"I'd say…'Run Lita!'" Steph yelled as she slapped Trish across the face.

Lita took off as a cat fight broke out.

"Why are you defending her?" Austin asked Hunter after he had dropped him. "You could have had it made. You and me, back together again, just like old times."

Hunter wiped the blood from his mouth. "Old times sucked." He stood back up and punched out at Austin.

Austin countered Hunter's punch with one of his own. "We had it all Hunter. Fame, fortune, and more power than we'll ever see again."

"Yeah," Hunter sneered, "and all we had to do was be complete bustards and leave all of our friends."

"When did you get so self righteous?"

"When I fell for someone again."

"You stupid bastard. Still upset over Chyna? You're better off without her."

"I can't believe that. I can't. I've changed since then." Hunter swiped at Austin again.

"You haven't changed. You can't change."

"I can and I did!" Hunter snarled as brought his knee up to meet Austin's gut. "I need people in my life."

"We had each other, your father in law, and your wife. That's all we needed."

"I needed something else. I needed someone who actually loved me. You act like you don't even need your wife."

"I don't! I don't need anyone. I face the world alone. DTA." Austin growled.

"You really wanna know why I'm defending her?" Hunter was gasping for breath.

"Yeah."

"Because I love her."

"You're completely pathetic. I don't need love."

"Then you're the pathetic one," Hunter commented as he slammed his fist into Austin's jaw, knocking him out cold.

"Alright Gentlemen, standard formation now."

Jackie watched the boys line up according to Regal's orders. "What the hell are you doing? They're sitting ducks out there like that!" She started heading for Regal when Shane reached around her and held a gun to her head.

"Now, Jackie," Shane said. "We don't really require your services at this time, so kindly SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

Another voice entered the equation "LET HER GO!"

"You have always been a bitch!" Stephanie yelled as she laid into Trish.

"Yeah," Trish agreed, "but what pisses you off is that I'm better at it than you." She pushed Stephanie off and got to her feet.

"No," Steph was breath hard now. "I'm pissed that you're a traitorous whore." She ran at Trish, attempting to spear the other girl and pin her to the wall of the ship.

Trish countered, spun Stephanie around, and bulldogged the other woman into the bottom of the ship. Steph rolled over, groaning in pain.

"Now who's the dominant female?" Trish asked as she mounted Stephanie and began slapping her over and over again. Suddenly, she felt someone lift her up and throw her against the wall.

"I am," Tori answered her as she rolled out her shoulder. "Finish her off Steph."

Stephanie approached Trish slyly, while rubbing her forehead where it had hit the floor. "Well, well, well…Trish. How long is it since you've been spanked?"

Lita stood in the doorway to the bridge, breathing hard as she stared down Shane and Regal. "LET HER GO, NOW!"

"Miss Dumas, you aren't really in a position to be making any demands, are you?" Regal asked, smugly.

"Don't start with me. You're a traitor Regal. I know you and Shane are working for Heyman and that Trish has been feeding you information for months."

"And what are you going to do about it?" Shane asked. "I've got a gun to your friend's head…" he slumped to the ground.

And Matt was standing behind him wielding a steel pipe. "Now you don't." He pried the gun from Shane's fingers and tossed it to Lita.

Regal looked at him. "I thought you were out there?"

"Nah," Matt looked over at Lita, "I'm grounded for two weeks, remember?" Lita noticed Matt had the deadeye symbol painted on his face.

Lita smirked. "Glad you finally came around, Matt." She marched to Regal and grabbed him by the shirt. Looking him dead in the eyes she growled:

"Give me back my ship."

Regal gulped. "Computer, recognize voice patterns of…" He let loose a shaky breath "CAPTAIN Lita Dumas."

Lita ripped Regal's earpiece out and placed in her own ear. She then punched Regal in the jaw and knocked him away from her before proclaiming, "Gentlemen…THE BITCH IS BACK."

There were screams from every one of the boys. "I'm glad you're so excited, now get the fuck out of there. It's a trap, I'll explain when you get back here."

Stephanie entered the bridge followed by Tori who was dragging a gagged Trish along behind her. They were then met by Hunter who, in between shallow breaths, informed them that Austin "is handcuffed and blindfolded somewhere in the ship."

"Where'd you get handcuffs?" Jackie asked. She looked at Stephanie. "Okay, right, second thought I don't wanna know."

The crew assembled themselves on the bridge with all the captives locked in the storage hold. "So explain what's going on?" Shane asked.

"I just did," Lita sighed. "The whole thing was a set-up and we were duped into it. Jericho's supposedly alive and well, we just have to track him down."

"Uh…how?" Jeff asked.

"I've got Jackie working on that right now."

"You mean working on Regal, right?" Tori pressed harder on the ice on her shoulder.

"Right."

"What do we do now?" Edge asked.

"We figure out what's going on. And we stop fighting among ourselves." Lita ordered. "And I'm taking control of my ship again. Now, go get some sleep."

Lita watched Hurricane and Stephanie look at each other and knew there wouldn't be much sleep between those two tonight. She wondered how Steph could sleep with someone else after finding out that Jericho was alive.

Supposedly alive, she corrected. And right now, Stephanie needed someone, no matter who, just so long as it was someone to comfort her. Hell, she was happy enough to help Lita. Speaking of which.

"Hey, Hunter?" Lita called. "I just wanted to know…what did you offer Stephanie that made her change her mind?"

Hunter smirked. "Well, Steph and I finally came clean about our romance lives. She told me she was sleeping with other people and I told her I knew."

"So?"

"Well, I decided to give her the one thing that would make all of it better."

"That being?"

"A divorce."

Lita was silent. Then, "What about all that power you're giving up?"

"I could care less right now. Right now, I have to focus in on what I want."

"And that is?"

Hunter leaned in close enough that Lita could feel his hot breath on her lips. He smirked at her in a way that made her stomach tingle. She fought to control her breathing as she looked at Hunter. He looked so dangerous and breath takingly beautiful at the same time. Matt never looked like that. Hunter finally broke the awkward silence with a simple answer.

"Take a wild guess Red."


	3. Mouth

"No," Lita said, pushing Hunter away. She turned away from him, shaking her head.

Hunter wrapped his arms around her waist. "Come on, Red. You can't see it?"

"No," she said, trying to pull away from him. "First off, you tried to kill me. Secondly, I know exactly how faithful you can be." Lita was glad she couldn't look at him; afraid the saddened look in her eyes would give her away. "No. I have to get things straightened out with everyone right now. It's just too much."

Hunter let go of her. Lita heard him walk away. She turned around to glance at him, maybe say something. But she couldn't think of any words to explain what she was feeling, couldn't think of anything to tell him but the truth.

And she couldn't let herself do that.

"Whenever you're ready," Hunter whispered. "I'll be here. I promise."

"Well…well…well…commissioner Regal," Jackie smirked as she circled the bound man. "Looks like I get to ask you a couple questions here."

Regal struggled against his bonds and seethed. "Untie me right now!"

Jackie leaned into Regal's face, blowing a large cloud of cigar smoke into his face. "What was that?"

Regal coughed and choked.

"That's what I thought you said," Jackie puffed her cigar again. "Now, there's the easy way to do this…and the fun way. Let's try the easy was first. Where are you holding Jericho?"

Regal grimaced. "I will NEVER tell you."

"Alright then, the fun way." Jackie withdrew a dangerous looking Bowie knife from her waistband. "Now, I'm going to ask you again. If you give me the answer I'm looking for, I leave you tied up here. If you don't…well…" Jackie smiled at the knife before holding it up against Regal's left cheek. "Well, then I start chopping off body parts."

Regal gulped, glancing sideways at the knife.

"So, Commissioner…Where are they holding Jericho?"

Regal whimpered, looking as if he were close to answering but some deep source of self control kept him from doing so.

Jackie moved the knife from his cheek to his crotch. "Do you know exactly how much a man bleeds when you cut his balls off? 'Cause I've been dying to know for YEARS."

"THEY'RE ON NEO-LIASA!" Regal screamed.

Jackie put the knife back in its sheath. "That's more like it."

"They have an underground headquarters. They're working on some new technology down there, Jericho was chosen as a test subject. I can draw you a bleeding map, just don't do that again!"

"Thank you very much, Commissioner. Now, just so you don't get on my nerves…" Jackie forced a ball gag into Regal's mouth and left him in the dark room.

"So…Tori…three guys, who do I go with?"

Tori looked up from where she was perched on her bed to see Lita standing in the doorway of the bunk she shared with Jackie. "Who's the best in bed?" she asked completely straight faced.

"I don't know," Lita replied, incredulously.

"Well, sleep with each of them and figure out who's the best in bed," Tori advised. "Go with him."

"Tori…no."

Tori rolled her eyes and sighed. "Alright, since you require a personality with your guys…"

"How did you end up with such a jaded view of men?" Lita asked.

Tori raised her eyebrows. "Um…hello? I watched them drool over my sister for years and ignore me. The few I did go out with treated me like shit."

"Like who?"

"Test…did him a few times. He was good in bed, but he dumped me for Steph," she reminded.

Lita looked unsurprised. "And then?"

"Forgot about guys for a while, went out with Ivory. Then she got jealous because I was showing my body off and she's kinda…"

"Possessive," Lita interrupted. "When she had a crush on Chyna she acted the same way. Same with Kat. Passed it off as morality."

"Right. That didn't exactly work out. So, I move on to Kane…but by that point all I wanted was a body. I didn't care whose. And unfortunately, burnt boy couldn't handle me," Tori smiled smugly. "So I moved on to a group with a bunch of bodies."

"DX? The wild bunch?" Lita asked, sounding like she already knew.

"Right. But then…I dunno. It was like, I had bodies, but I was just a body. Worse," she said, the smile finally fading from her face, "I was my sister. So, I left 'em. Ended up here. Love it."

"And you and Jackie?"

"Purely platonic, hun," Tori assured her. "Jackie likes boys. I'm a surf and turf girl myself."

"Good to know," Lita said.

"You should consider it, Red. Girls are saner than guys."

"Um…and you're using Ivory as a reference for this fact?"

"Okay, bad example," Tori winced. "But you get the idea."

"No, I don't," Lita confessed. "Tori, I can't just go with my gut instinct with this. It's…dangerous."

"Relationships are always dangerous, Red," Tori said. "Being in love with the wrong person could get you killed." She softened a bit at that, looking almost wistful.

"Don't I know it," Lita said, turning to leave her alone.

"Neo-Liasa." Jackie told the assembled crew an hour later as they gathered on the bridge. "They're underground."

Stephanie brightened. "So, we're going?"

"You want in Princess?" Jackie asked.

Stephanie nodded. "If I can help, I want to. They…dammit Jackie they have Chris."

Lita looked at Steph. "What do you know about medicine?"

"Basic first aid," Steph shrugged. "Why?"

Lita smiled. "We need a medical officer. You have the authority to appoint yourself medical officer. I'd do it if you want in. Otherwise we're going to get into protocol problems."

"Which leaves Hunter out as well," Matt observed, smugly.

"Not true," Lita countered. "We're short a crew member as it because of Chris's disappearance. We can equal everything back out when the trainee gets out here. For right now, I want a full crew, so Hunter's on the team."

Both Matt and Edge looked concerned. "Red, are you sure?" Edge asked.

She started both of them down. "I'm sure. Look, he proved that he's on our side. He risked his life for us against Austin. We can trust him. So, we've got a full crew, and a destination. I say we get some sleep."

Edge walked by Lita's quarters an hour later only to hear her muttering loudly inside. He entered her quarters. "I thought you were getting some sleep."

"Yeah…well this is more important," she was sitting in front of her console watching the ship's view of the battle they'd lost Chris in. "I think I figured out where they got him."

Edge stood behind her as she rewound the series of events leading up to the LionSault. She played it back in slow motion for Edge. "Okay…right…NOW!" she paused the screen right after Chris fired off the final shot. The entire screen was caught in a flash of light for a split second, unnoticeable if it hadn't been in slow motion. "That's it, I think."

Edge looked unconvinced. "But how did they do it?"

"Still not sure," Lita stretched her arms over her head. "Transport beam…possible. But I'm not really concerned with how…more why. Jackie said something about an experiment. I wanna know what's going on."

"You think Shane'd know anything?" Edge asked.

"Shane-O-Mac? Even if he does he won't talk. Regal's easy, terrified of Jackie. However Shane doesn't scare that easy. So…we'd need time that we don't have for that." She yawned. "I need sleep."

Edge looked down at her, almost guiltily. "Look, Red…Lita…about the other day. I…I'm sorry. I just…"

"Just what? Felt like that would be your last chance to tell me how you felt? Wanted to get things out in the clear? Don't sweat it, I've been getting a lot of it lately."

"What do you mean?" Edge asked.

Lita ran her hand through her hair. "Look, Edge, I now have three guys telling me they love me. Flattering, but not easy to handle in this situation."

"Three? Who?"

"Um…Matt…you…and Hunter."

"Hunter?"

"Yeah. Hunter."

"Well, that's definitely interesting," Edge said.

Lita bit her lip as a look of worry crossed her face. "Not quite what I'd call it."

Edge looked less amused than she did. "Me either, really. Are you going to be okay?"

"I have to be," she told him. "I don't have another choice."

Stephanie shifted uncomfortably as Hurricane played with a strand of her hair. She could sense that something was about to be asked that she wasn't really comfortable with answering.

"So, Steph, what happens when Jericho comes back?"

Swearing to herself, Stephanie rolled over. "Shane, I was hoping to avoid this conversation."

"Because you're using me?"

"NO! Shane, you're a wonderful guy, I can't even begin to tell you. And to tell the truth, I LIKE you more than I like Jericho most of the time."

"So why not just be with me?" Hurricane asked. "It makes no sense."

"Because as much as I hate to say it, I LOVE Chris Jericho. As mean as we may be to each other, it's our way of saying 'I love you.'"

"That's kinda sick Steph."

Steph stared him in the face, unflinching. "Maybe. But it's what works for us. It's how we are. Nothing can change that."

"When he comes back I'm gone then?"

"Hurricane, I…I…"

"You don't have to explain Stephanie. I understand." Hurricane rose from the bed and walked away from her. "You know, I thought I meant something to you. I thought I was someone special. I was a re-bound. I was a way to get over an ex. That hurts."

With that, Hurricane Helms left Stephanie McMahon Helmsley alone in her bed.

Hunter Hearnst Helmsley tossed in his bed as he relived those last few moments with her. The horrible fight, her last words to him…dear god, what had he done. Then, that night when…when…

"CHYNA!" he screamed, sitting up in bed. He breathed hard, telling himself that those were not tears falling down his cheeks.

"So…that is who you were dreaming of," Edge smirked at Hunter.

"What the hell are you doing in here? How did you even get in here?"

Edge smiled widely. "I've got my ways. And I wanna talk to you. About Red."

"What about her?" Hunter snarled

"She says you said something about loving her. And now I find you in here dreaming of your ex," Edge's smile faded.

"Dreaming of my ex who disappeared without a trace," Hunter defended. "Did it ever occur to you that I might have some left over issues because of that?"

Edge was silent, but the look on his face was clearly confused.

Hunter continued. "You know, she was on her way back to the main base and she just vanished. Gone. They accused her of stealing the ship and running off. Couldn't have blamed her, they treated her like shit."

"We never heard about that," Edge told him. "We heard she was gunned down."

"But they…" Hunter stopped. "So, they lied to at least one of us."

"Seems that way," Edge agreed.

Hunter dropped his gaze from the other man's. "I feel so responsible for it. I feel like if I hadn't dumped her it'd all be okay, we'd still be together and she wouldn't have gotten canned. I'd still have her."

"So, due to massive guilt you've just transplanted Lita into Chyna's place?" Edge asked. "How romantic."

Hunter's head snapped back up. "NO! Dammit Edge, I love Lita for who she is. But I'm always going to love Chy. That's how it works. Do you understand that?"

"Understood," Edge shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, and just so you know, if you are just using her to replace Chyna, you break her heart, and I find out, I will rip your trachea out with my bare hands," he punctuated this statement by smiling as dangerously as possible.

Hunter watched Edge walk away before he spoke up. "Oh, Edge?"

"Yeah Hunter?"

Hunter's expression hardened. "If I find out you're just trying to make her feel better about this whole Jericho mess, and YOU break her heart, I will break your kneecaps with a sledgehammer."

Edge opened the door and started to walk out when he came face to face with Matt. "If either of you breaks her heart…you don't even wanna know what I'll do. What is it with everyone wanting to sleep with my girlfriend?"

"First off," The boys looked behind Matt to see Lita leaning against the opposite wall. "I'm your ex-girlfriend. Or wasn't that made clear when I called you a son of a bitch and went for your throat?"

Hunter and Edge snickered.

Lita ignored their amusement. "And secondly, what is it with everyone wanting to sleep with me all of a sudden?"

The boys were all silent.

"I mean, last week I only had one guy to worry about, suddenly I've got three. I'm not liking it. And if you three are going to bicker and fight over me, don't bother. That caveman like behavior is only going to get your asses kicked by me, then by Tori who hates it just as much as I do, then by Jackie who just needs a good ass kicking every now and then." Lita stood up and stared all three of them down. "Don't fuck with the ladies of this ship unless you know what you're getting into."

And yet more silence. Lita continued.

"Now, we are landing on Neo-Liasa in less than two hours. Once there, we are going to have to stock up on supplies at a base and then head underground to the Alliance labs. Anyone messes with me before or during that, I will personally let Jackie do to each of you what she did to Regal earlier. Any questions?"

The three men shook their heads.

"Good, I'll see you later," Lita turned and left.

Halfway down the hall she stopped and simply said, "I love this captain thing."

"We're there!" Rob screamed around 4 AM. "Ready to dock?"

Lita rubbed her eyes after her wonderful hour of sleep. "Can you be less cheerful?"

"No. We're there," Rob was practically bouncing. "I'm looking forward to a fight."

Lita massaged her temples. "Docking procedures. Land the ship. And get me some coffee."

On the surface, the crew headed into what was the equivalent of an Arabian market for supplies. They dragged along Shane McMahon, Regal, Austin, and Trish to keep them from trying anything stupid on the ship. Lita did have to stop Stephanie from trading Trish for a new pair of boots, telling her "I want to too, those are really cute boots. However, we have to keep her safe in case of a hostage exchange, got it?"

Stephanie pouted, but agreed.

As they were heading down a street looking for bigger canteens, Lita caught site of a sign.

_Madame Luna, Tarot Cards._

"Hey, guys, I'll catch up," she yelled as she headed into the shop.

The blonde woman inside greeted her and urged her to sit. "I'm glad you came, I've been waiting for you all day Captain. Sit down."

Lita did so. Luna dealt the cards and hunched over them.

"This one is you," she pointed to the Queen of Swords. "Fiery, strong, powerful, passionate. A warrior."

She pointed to three cards underneath her. "These are three who are vying for your love and affection, the Page of Pentacles, the King of Swords, and the Page of Wands. The Page of Pentacles is steadfast, somewhat boring to others, seems to lack depth of character. The King of Swords has a love of power and a brutal attitude. The Page of Wands is humorous, yet has a purpose."

She laid down three more cards, then looked at Lita as she flipped them over. "In your past there was great pain," she said as she laid down the five of cups. "You overcame it and took away something, but you lost a great deal in the process."

The second card was flipped. "In the present there is power and conviction on your part," she pointed to the Emperor. "You must stick to these if you wish to accomplish your goal."

"Finally," she turned over the High Priestess. "Your future is unknown."

"WHAT?" Lita cried. Luna held a hand in her face to silence her.

"You have not yet made all the choices that will define your future. In coming times you will determine your own destiny. It is in your hands, Lita. Make your choices well."

Luna piled the cards up again, and then laid down three final cards. "As for you lovers, one will betray you," The Moon, "one will be with you," the Lovers, and one will…"

"Death…" Lita shook as she looked at the card.

"Death does not necessarily mean mortal death. One will change. Forever."

Luna looked at Lita one last time. As she laid down the Queen of Swords again. "And you are in control of their destiny's as well. None of this is set in stone."

Lita was silent for a moment. "How much do I owe you?"

"Trust me, you'll pay up later. Go find your crew."

"You guys have everything?" Lita asked when she caught up with the crew.

"Yeah, just about, except for those boots…"

"Steph…no."

"But they're cute boots! And you know Scats and Merc would do it!"

"You keep those two out this, they're back at base!"

"Well, dammit."

"All right everyone, I want you to stick together. Nobody do anything stupid," Lita looked over at Jeff. "Watch the hostages. I don't wanna lose anyone."

"Got it, Captain," Rob tugged on Austin's cuffs and smirked.

"Jackie, where are we headed?"

Jackie held the knife against Regal's neck. "Where we headed shit for brains?"

"Three miles east. There's a back door."

Jeff dropped into the empty underground chamber with a THUD. He pointed his laser-targeted rifle around the room before motioning to the rest of the team. They dropped into the hole behind him. Lita joined Jeff at the head of the party. She motioned with her head and they all headed into the inner recesses of the Alliance labs.

Half an hour later they still hadn't found anything. Regal gulped as Jackie tightened her grip on his collar. "You wouldn't be leading us astray, would you Regal?"

Just as she said this, a light hit them from the other end of the tunnel. They shaded their eyes from it as a familiar voice cut through the silence.

"Well, well, well. Who do we have here?"

"Heyman," Steph growled.

"Good to see you too Steph. How's everything going for you lately?"

"Where's Chris?"

"Jericho? Oh…he's around."

"I wanna see him NOW!"

"If you wish, Princess," The light cut to reveal a horde of Alliance soldiers facing the team.

"Angle," Hunter acknowledged.

"Christian," Edge growled.

Matt and Jeff were busy eyeing up the Dudleyz who returned the favor.

"Ivory, good to see you," Tori smirked at her ex.

"Happy to see me?" a voice from the back of the group made Tori gasp.

"Sable?" she whispered as her sister pushed her way through the gang surrounding her.

"The one and only. Anyone ready for the grind?" She held what looked like the handle of a laser whip over her barely covered breasts.

"I'll grind you good, bitch!" Jackie warned.

The stare down continued for several minutes before Heyman let out a short laugh. "This isn't getting us anywhere, is it?"

"You have a suggestion?" Hunter asked.

"Yeah," Heyman snorted. "A hostage exchange."

Trish and Shane perked up.

Heyman motioned to Lance Storm, who quickly began to drag a nearly unconscious Chris Jericho towards his boss. Heyman smirked as Jericho nearly choked from the collar around his neck.

"That's sick," Lita spat.

Steph shifted uncomfortably. "Uh...Red?" she whispered.

Without looking over her shoulder, Lita whispered, "Don't tell me he likes it when you do it. I don't wanna hear it right now."

Heyman held Jericho's lease and smirked at Lita. "Now, the exchange."

"You can have them all back if you give us Jericho," Lita offered, gesturing behind her to the Alliance members.

There were excited sounds from behind her from the hostages.

Heyman gave a short laugh. "I don't want them! They're the fuck ups!"

Lita closed her eyes, a pained expression crossing her face. Behind her Trish, Austin, Shane and Regal gasped.

"Besides Red," Heyman continued, "I think we both know what I want."

Lita turned to Matt. "You remember a couple years back when we made a deal? If you ever meet some girl who looks like me but tells you her name is Angelica?"

Matt blinked, looking confused. "Yeah, I kill her as soon as I get the chance. Why? She here?" He looked past Lita to the assembled Alliance.

"Not yet," Lita whispered. She faced Heyman again. "Go ahead," she said clearly and defiantly. 

"I want you Captain Dumas. You know why." A sick smile spread across Heyman's face.

"And you'll let Chris go. For good?" Lita asked.

"I promise. I'll let your crew alone after they've left here." Heyman jerked the chain in his hand. "Or, you can leave now and I'll continue to try and break the Captain here."

Lita handed her gun Hunter, who looked at her in shock. "Then it's settled. Send him over."

"What the hell are you doing?" Hunter asked.

"What I've got to do," she told him.

Heyman shook his head. "Half way. So you don't try to run." He tossed Jericho's chain to Ivory who began to lead him.

Lita stepped away from the group, slowly. She stopped when she met Jericho and Ivory. "Let's go."

Ivory took the collar off of Jericho and fixed it around Lita's neck. Jericho slumped to the ground as Ivory pulled Lita to Heyman.

"Long, long time kiddo." Heyman smiled at her in that disgustingly evil way. "Let's see what we've got."

Raven grasped her chin while Justin Credible forced her forehead back, opening her mouth as wide as possible. Heyman motioned to Christian, who quickly handed him something small enough to be placed on the tip of Heyman's finger. Heyman shoved his finger into the back of Lita's mouth. The crew heard her gag, and then watched Heyman's hand withdraw. Lita collapsed into a pile of limbs and red hair.

The Alliance backed away from her, leaving her there. The crew had by now moved to Jericho, who was being cared for by Stephanie. After seeing Lita collapse, Matt edged towards her. He looked up to see if the Alliance was going to challenge him. When they didn't, he bent over her. "Lita? You okay?"

She groaned. "Matt?"

"What is it baby?" he asked as he helped her stand.

"There's…there's something I have to tell you…" she was on her feet, but doubled over, hugging her stomach.

"What baby?" he stroked her hair.

"It's…" she gagged again, sounding as if she were going to be sick.

"Shhhh…" Matt soothed her. "Listen, Red, it's okay."

"Stop…" she choked out. "Stop calling me Red."

"Why?" Matt asked, softly.

"Because…" her voice was suddenly strong again. "My name's Angelica," she hissed as she elbowed him in the chest.

Jericho stood up from where he had collapsed and grabbed Stephanie by the throat. She squealed in surprise as he held her.

"It's a fucking trap!" Tori screamed as she drew her weapons. Her sister's whip cut across the room and disarmed her.

Hunter aimed his gun at the Alliance and was set to shoot when Austin nailed him from behind with a body blow. He dropped his weapon and lay on the floor not moving.

Hurricane ran to save Steph, but found himself entrapped by Lance Storm. "Hurricane, it could work out. You, Alliance. Sounds right."

"Storm, you're a dweeb. What up wit' dat?"

He was rewarded with being knocked clean out.

Matt was slowly trying to recover from both the blow and the shock. He tried to stand up, gasping "What in the hell?"

Lita…Angelica, was removing the collar. "Your girlfriend never told you about me, did she? Huh, we had such a close relationship too." Matt had by now stood up the whole way. "Well, just for that, I'll do you a favor." She spread her arms to her sides. "One clean shot. Point blank. Kill me."

Matt drew his gun and aimed, remembering his promise to Lita…

"Come on Hardy. You got what it takes to kill your ex?"

Matt gulped. She was still Lita…she still had those eyes…what in the hell was going on?

"Come on Matthew Moore," Lita…Angelica…taunted. "Pull the trigger. Or can't you?"

"Maybe he can't," Angelica turned around to face Edge. "But I keep my promises. Sorry Red."

There was a shot fired.

And a long pause…

Edge fell to his knees, grasping Angelica for balance as he looked at her wide-eyed. Everything went into slow motion as he felt the blood gather in his mouth. He looked at her again as his eyes glazed over. She took a step back, letting him fall to the floor. She elbowed Matt in the face, knocking him back into the waiting arms of the Dudleyz.

Christian smirked from behind the body of his brother as he stroked the still smoking gun. "Oops," he shrugged.

"Wow," Angelica stepped over the body. She smiled at Heyman who had been joined by Jericho, who was still clutching a shocked Stephanie.

Angelica joined them. "Well, dying will definitely ruin your day, won't it?"

Steph looked at her, confused.

"Aww, Steph doesn't know what's going on, does she?" Angelica smirked. "Huh…I guess I'll have to explain to everyone later on."

"I thought you were gone," Jeff whispered from Rhyno's clutches. "I thought you'd gone for good."

"Yeah, well, that's because you're an idiot," she said to him, a huge smile on her face. "I'm back. And poor Matty never knew about me. How sad."

Matt was groggily waking up. Angelica approached him. "She still knows what's going on Matty. And you know what she's saying?"

Matt looked at Angelica, eyes half open.

Angelica whispered. "She's screaming…'you betrayed me…'"

"And who the fuck is Angelica?" Jackie asked later on in the holding cell.

"She's Lita, obviously," Rob observed. "Our fearless leader turned on us. That bitch."

"No," Jeff broke in. "It's not Lita. At least, it's her body, but it's not her mentally."

"You're saying Lita's bipolar?" Shane asked.

"No. What I'm saying is that there are parts of Lita's past none of you guys know about."

"Well, who does?"

"Me, Steph, Edge, a few select others. Matt…"

"I didn't even know." Matt sighed from a corner of the room.

"Where is Hunter anyway?" Jackie spat.

"Probably with her," Jeff said. "She would have wanted him."

"Lita?"

"No. Angelica," Jeff corrected.

"You feel like explaining this yet?" Jackie asked.

Jeff sighed. "Lita was a poor kid, down on her luck. Well, Heyman picked her up, offered her a job. She turned him down, he hunted her and brought her in here, I guess. They fucked with her mind, used drugs and brainwashing techniques and made her into what you guys saw out there. Created a whole other personality, a separate person inside her skull. A remorseless killer known as…"

"Angelica Congeniality," Matt broke in. "I'd heard of her before, but nobody would show us pictures."

"Because she's Lita, in reality," Jeff clarified. "They made her an assassin. Had her go after some top ranking officials, take down some big wigs. Finally, they sent her after Chyna.

"The hit took longer than she'd planned. She and Chyna beat the hell out of each other and it wore her down. The drugs weren't working as well. Finally, Angelica faded and Lita came out again. The medical staff at base figured out what was done to her and helped her recover as best they could. Well, Angelica was gone as far as everyone else was concerned, but Lita would every so often be afraid she was surfacing again."

"And now what?" Rob asked. "Edge is dead. Angelica's loose, Jericho's turned on us and he has Steph."

"They probably did to him something similar to what they did to Lita," Jeff suggested.

"How do you know all this and Matt doesn't?" Hurricane finally asked.

"Her hit on Chyna was right around the first TLC mission. I was hospitalized for a pretty long time after that, remember? Well, I ran into Lita as she was recovering. I recognized her from when were kids, before Heyman got to her. She told me her story and she made me promise not to tell Matt. She didn't want him to know what she was."

"And Essa?" Matt asked.

"Didn't know anything about her past, that's why they dated," Jeff said. "And I think part of her felt like she deserved to be punished for what Angelica had done. Until he started to beat her, that was. Then…"

"She went running to me," Matt observed. "And I betrayed her trust twice."

"You didn't betray her!" Rob argued. "I mean, just because you couldn't kill her."

Matt punched at the wall. "That's the point. I should've. I promised her."

"So, Hunter…" Angelica was smiling at him as he woke up strapped to a chair. "Sleep well?"

"Fuck you," Hunter spat. "Where's Lita?"

Angelica tapped her head. "All locked up. Gone forever."

"How?"

"You really wanna know?" Angelica straddled Hunter's lap. "Or should we just get on with the important stuff?"

Hunter turned his face away from her.

"What's wrong? Don't want me anymore? You wanted her."

"You're not her."

"You're damn right," Angelica stood up again, her pleather pants crinkling. "I'm back. And it feels sooooo good." She smirked at him. "You don't like me better? I'm more your type."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Bitchy. Evil. In a position of incredible power at the moment," Angelica picked a cherry out of a bowl and held it between her front teeth.

"Exactly. And I don't want that, ever."

Angelica bit into the cherry, chewed, and swallowed it. "But you were that. You know, there was only ever one time when I was close to popping up again without the drugs."

Hunter stared at her.

"You remember the night you and Austin were beating on the Hardys? You remember how the bitch…their bitch, I believe you called her…threw herself across Matt and begged you not to hurt him? Then you let Austin hit her over and over again across the back? I was close enough to the surface that I nearly stood up and kicked both your asses." She smiled fondly. "Then, I receded. Hoped you'd keep it up until I could come out again and maybe play with you. After all, you'd come a long way from the guy that clobbered me from behind when I was trying to kill your girlfriend. How is Chyna these days, anyway?"

Hunter hung his head.

Angelica continued. "But that night in the bar? That was the night, Hunter, that I fell for you. You were everything I wanted in a man."

"And that's why Lita didn't want anything to do with me." He whispered.

"On the nose. She was afraid that she'd turn into me again. Which happened anyway." She smiled. "It was pretty much inevitable, wouldn't you say?" She paused for a moment to let it sink in. "So, what do you think? You. Me. Alliance. We overthrow Austin, work our way through Heyman and begin a reign of terror around here."

"Chris?" Steph whimpered as her lover stared at her, breath heavily. She had found herself in a dimly lit room, on what appeared to be a bed covered in satin sheets.

"Right here, dearest." Chris's eyes were hooded as he sat in an armchair across from her. He smiled at her in a cruel, twisted way.

"Chris, what did they do you?" Stephanie asked, helplessly.

Jericho continued to smile at her. "Made me better. I'm not a screw up anymore Steph. I'm good enough for you. I'm a tough, heartless SOB now. Isn't that what you go for in a man?"

"No," Stephanie pleaded. "You know I married Hunter for show. It didn't mean anything."

"It didn't? Really? Well, that's very good to know," Chris said. "And did we mean anything? You never even told anyone about us."

"Because it was dangerous!" Steph cried. "I was still married."

"And a little danger was too much for you?"

"I didn't want you hurt!"

"Love is pain!" Chris screamed at her. "That's what it's all about! It's pain, hurt, and heartache. That's all it is!"

Stephanie looked at him. "What did they do to you?" she repeated.

"Let's not talk about that," Jericho stood over her. "Let's talk about us."

"So, you have a thing for me," Hunter nodded at Angelica. "Well, as flattered as I could be…I'M NOT."

Angelica rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, Hunter."

"You're a coward," Hunter yelled at her.

"What?" Angelica asked, coldly.

"You're a coward," Hunter repeated. "You knew Hardy couldn't shoot you. Then, when Edge took his chance, you had Christian kill him. You never gave anyone else a clear shot."

"Anyone…like you?"

"Exactly."

"Hunter, you could never shoot her. You love her too much," Angelica rolled her eyes. "Sentimental bullshit. I'll have to beat that out of you."

"Then hand me the gun and take your chances," Hunter challenged.

Tori pulled her hand back into the cell. "There's no way to pick that lock. It's useless. I can't do it."

The door swung open. Shane MacMahon was standing on the other side.

The crew looked at him in amazement. Shane began tossing their weapons back to him. Off of Matt's stunned look he shrugged. "I'm not a fuck up."

Jackie retrieved her knife and looked forward to what was to come.

"What did you say to me?" Angelica asked.

"Hand me the gun and find out," Hunter repeated. "If you don't think I'd kill her, give me the chance."

Angelica laughed, throwing Lita's red hair out of her face. "Fine, you want that, you can have it." She untied Hunter carefully, then tossed him a pistol. "Go ahead," she stood right in front of him. "Shoot me."

Inwardly, Hunter prayed that he knew what he was doing. He aimed the gun at Angelica's head…

Then swung it and nailed her in the left side of her face.

She recoiled from the blow, pausing to run her tongue over the roof of her mouth. Hunter watched her play with the implant Heyman had put in.

"What did they do to Chris and Lita?" Jeff demanded of Shane.

"Remember how Lita used to need the drugs? Well, Heyman developed an implant that maintains the same hormone levels without the injections. It's a more permanent solution."

"Unless the chip comes out, right?" Hurricane asked him.

"Let's just hope Steph and Hunter figure that part out."

"You knocked part of it out!" Angelica growled at him.

"Part of the plan," he admitted.

She started towards him, when suddenly her right fist nailed her in her own jaw. Hunter watched as she tried to use her left arm to hold it down to no avail, she punched herself again. As she gasped for breath, he noticed that the chip was coming further and further out.

"What the FUCK?" Angelica yelled.

Then, her mouth opened again. "Heyman didn't plan for anyone to hit us in the face hard enough and often enough to knock the chip out."

Hunter stared in amazement. Lita had just answered Angelica. She was regaining control.

"Well, bitch, it ends here!" Angelica reached in to replace the chip, when the right side of her mouth clamped down, drawing blood from her left hand.

Angelica screamed. Lita stumbled towards Hunter. "Hit me again. Harder!"

Hunter paused for a second before obliging her. He watched as the right hand reached up in and yanked on the chip, pulling it out completely.

Lita motioned for the gun. Hunter threw it to her and watched her throw the chip in the air and blow it to smithereens.

Lita sank to her knees, hugging herself. Hunter moved to comfort her.

"I killed Edge!" she sobbed.

"No…Christian killed Edge," Hunter told her.

"I…I'm not her…"

"No, you're not." Hunter hesitated, then leaned in and kissed her.

Lita let him just love her. Let him love her after he'd seen her dark side, her deepest secret. After he'd found out she had her own secrets, her own evils. And he still loved her. No matter what he loved her.

Lita gasped a few more times after they broke the kiss. "We've gotta to Steph and Chris."

"You want me in the Alliance?" Steph asked Chris as he sat beside her. "Why?"

"McMahon's little girl and his heir, both against him? How wonderfully evil would that be?" Chris chuckled. "Besides, if you don't agree to it, they'll kill the crew. Including that Hurricane kid. So, did you like sleeping with him while I was gone?"

"I thought you were dead…"Steph protested. "I thought you were gone for good."

"You were wrong."

"I KNOW THAT!" She screamed. "I've been wrong about a lot of things. I was wrong to marry Hunter when I didn't love him. I was wrong to try and hurt my father the way I did. I was wrong to keep us a secret. I was wrong to sleep with Hurricane. But Chris, I'm trying to fix things. Hunter and I are getting divorced. And Hurricane knows that I'm in love with you. It's all okay…"

"Not quite," Chris snickered. "You're still on the wrong side."

Stephanie sat up. "Let me fix that," she whispered as she dove for his lips.

He felt her tongue invade his mouth, her soft arms wrapped around his back. He responded, pulling her closer to him, dueling her tongue with his. He ran his arms up and down her back as she kissed him, then started running his fingers through her hair.

He was so busy doing this, he didn't feel her tongue working on the chip until she had it mostly out.

Suddenly, he stopped and withdrew from her. Steph gasped as he reached into his own mouth and pulled the implant out, throwing it across the room. He turned back to her. "Missed you, you dirty skeezy brutal bottom feeding trash bag ho."

"Missed you too, choke artist," Steph gave into tears as she embraced Chris again. They sat together, embracing until the door to the darkened room swung open.

Hunter and Lita were silhouetted in the door frame. "Chris?" Lita called.

"Angelica?" he asked, cautiously.

She shook her head. "Lita."

"How do I know?"

Lita opened her mouth, showing Chris the implant was gone. "Now, your turn."

Chris returned the favor.

"Good to have you back…Captain," Lita smirked at him.

"Good to be back…Captain," Chris saluted her.

"Good to see you're both back…Captains," The four looked out into the hall to see Shane and the rest of the crew ready for battle. "And I am NOT a fuck up."

"Never said you were big brother," Steph and Jericho got off of the bed and each accepted a weapon from Shane.

"Heyman's gone too far. He never mentioned brain washing. If people come over of their own free will, that's one thing. But if he's gonna do this shit, that's just wrong."

"So what do we do?" Rob asked.

"Take out this place first," Lita looked around.

"Um…excuse me, I'm back!" Jericho pointed out. "I can be in control again. Two days and you're already used to it."

"Look, this is personal," Lita said. "We don't destroy this place, they have the drugs. They can shoot us up. I want Angelica gone for good."

"I'll agree to that," Jeff backed her up. "I want that bitch gone too."

"I can agree to that," Matt said.

"So, anybody have a plan?" Jericho asked.

"I've got a plan!" Jackie busted in. "Let's kick their asses 'til their heads fall off, then let's kick their heads until they scream."

Silence.

"I like it," Rob finally said.

"We need a real plan," Matt looked at Lita.

"Don't look at me," Lita said. "Heyman's one of the things I can't…I just…"

"How about we all just pick a friend and keep them busy while one of us figures out some way to blow this mother?" Jericho suggested.

"I like it," Rob smirked.

"Alright, who's your friend?" Jericho asked.

Rob's smirk grew sinister. "Austin."

"Dudleyz," both Hardyz suggested simultaneously.

"Trish 'I'll fuck whatever moves' Stratus." Steph looked down at her boots and smiled.

"I want my sister," Tori announced.

Hurricane was silent. "Don't you think someone should get to the ship, just in case?"

"Good idea," Jericho smiled at the kid. "You do that. And do it well you get your wings."

Jackie removed her knife again. "Regal."

"Anyone who didn't see that one coming?" Shane asked. "I'll go after..."

"You're blowing this place," Lita told him. "You know it better than the rest of us."

"Right."

"I want Angle," Hunter told them. "He's mine."

"Christian," Jericho pushed hair out of his face. "He killed a crew member."

"Under my watch," Lita protested.

"Yeah, but I know who you really want to hurt. And you'd better take him."

Lita sighed. "You're right. I've got Heyman."

"Do you know what my watch is saying?" Austin was asking D-Von and Bubba Ray Dudley as they stood in the open area in the central section. "Do you?"

"Um…you're about to get your asses kicked?" The three looked up to see Matt, Jeff, and RVD on the floor above them.

"What the hell?" The three Alliance members watched as the boys smiled at them. "Why don't you come down here and say that?"

"They had to ask, didn't they?" Jeff shrugged, then made the guns with his hands.

BAM!

Christian barely had time to realize what had hit him before Jericho had thrown him across the room.

"So, you liked killing your brother?" Jericho asked. "You get a little wood when you did that?"

"What the FUCK?" Christian asked, wiping blood from his mouth.

"Just a question. Did you get off on killing your older brother?"

"Yeah, it was a fucking religious experience!" Christian growled.

"Love thy brother," Jericho responded, coming after Christian again.

"Angle…." Hunter growled softly when he finally found his target.

"Triple H, wow. The Game." Angle approached him without fear. "We go back pretty far, don't we? I mean…we shared missions, shared tips, shared your wife."

"Not gonna work," Hunter drew his pistol. Angle dodged the first shot and rolled away. He drew his own weapon. "Now, this is what I've missed."

"Getting your ass kicked?"

"Nah," Hunter laughed. "You crying for mercy."

"I'm not crying for mercy."

"Yet."

"I knew you'd be here, sooner or later," Heyman said without turning around, watching her in the mirror behind his desk. "I knew you'd come."

"You've done things to me that are unquestionably evil," Lita told him. "You toyed with my head. You made me into a monster. And you did it all for your own little perverse pleasure. You liked seeing me hurt, kill and maim people. I want revenge."

"What you want is her gone," Heyman corrected. "I could do it."

He gasped as a shot fired right past his ear, shattering the glass. He spun to see Lita holding her gun, her body shaking with rage.

"Liar," she said.

"Caught ya sleeping, didn't I?"

Regal woke up in his office, tied to a chair, with Jackie standing over him. "Now… that little question of mine…"

Regal struggled again, realizing he'd already been relieved of his pants and underwear.

"Nope. You're not getting out. No questions this time." Jackie smirked as she held up her Bowie knife and a rubber band. "Well…one question. Let's get the answer."

Regal's scream sounded through the entire complex.

"What the hell was that?" Trish asked, standing up from her microscope in the drug lab.

"That was Regal being relieved of a set of balls he didn't use anyway," Shane informed her.

"Yeah, and we thought mom was the only one with grapefruit slicing abilities," Steph shrugged.

"How is mom, anyway?" Shane asked his sister.

"Pretty good. Misses you. Wants you home for Thanksgiving this year."

"I'll have to see if I can get the leave. I'd like to."

"It'd be nice to have the whole family together. But should I tell about Jericho before or after dinner?"

"EXCUSE ME!" Trish screamed. "Is everyone forgetting I'm here?"

"Right, sorry," Steph fired a dart at the girl.

Trish slumped to the floor.

"You didn't kill her, did you?" Shane asked.

"Nah, are you kidding? I really want those cute boots."

"MERCY! MERCY!" Angle screamed as Hunter put more pressure on his lower arm.

"Told you," Hunter reminded him as he fired a shot through his head.

"And that would be mine," Rob took Austin's watch off of the dazed man. He put it on and held it to his ear. "You know what this watch is saying to me?"

Austin blinked his eyes.

"It's not saying anything. It's a watch you stupid fuck."

There was a crashing noise, signifying that both Dudleyz were now disposed of.

"Let's get outta here," Matt suggested.

Sable raked Tori's eyes, then kicked her in the gut, taking her to the ground. "Tisk, tisk, sis." she punctuated this with another kick to her sister's stomach. "You've gone soft."

Tori shook her head. "You know, they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks." She pushed herself into a handstand and wrapped her legs around Sable's neck, then snapped it in one smooth motion.

"And you're one of the biggest bitches I've ever known."

Lita stared down Heyman, her chest rising and falling steadily. "Liar," she repeated.

Heyman slowly stood up. "Now, Red…"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" she screamed. "I was never Red to you. I was never even Lita to you. I was Angelica…"

Heyman reached beneath his desk and slowly opened the hidden case containing a device that looked like a gun loaded with a syringe. "Lita…I wanted what was best for you. I gave you a purpose."

"SHUT UP!" she ordered. "What was best was making me a ruthless killer? That's what was best?"

"No…that wasn't what was best." Heyman drew the gun and fired it at Lita, landing the syringe in her shoulder.

She pulled it out after it hand only injected halfway. Heyman watched as her face twisted, a dark smile spreading across it. "Baaaaaad idea."

She charged him, gun firing madly. He replied by drawing his gun and pointing it at her.

It came down to a standoff. Both had a pistol in their right hand, held against the other's temple. "Face it, you can't beat me." Heyman growled.

"Yes, I can," Lita smirked at him. She looked him in the eye and smirked. "Because you gave me a purpose."

In an inhumanly fast movement, Lita grabbed Heyman's right arm and before he could fire at her she had him turn around and gasping in pain. She kneed him in the back, then bent down and picked up a large shard of extremely sharp glass from the floor. When Heyman turned back around she swung out and slit his throat, then thrust the glass into his stomach and slash upwards, cutting him wide open.

He fell over…dead.

She heard a gasp behind her. Turning to face her crew, she wiped the sweat from her face.

"I didn't know you could do that," Hunter protested.

"I can't," Lita stumbled towards them. "Angelica could."

Shane and Steph suddenly ran towards the group, Stephanie carrying an unconscious Trish on her back. "We've gotta go now! This place is gonna blow!"

"How did you…?" Jericho asked.

"Trish had all the makings of a bomb in the lab. Just took some reassembling. Let's move!" Shane ordered.

Just as the last person, Jericho, climbed out of the entrance way, there was a huge BOOM that shook the entire ground.

When everything had settled down, Lita heard her radio going off. "This is Red. Over."

"Red? Hurricane! I'm back on the ship! And guess who I ran into on my way out?"

"Who?" Lita asked, assuming it was Storm and she was about to hear about the ass kicking Hurricane had handed him and…

A gasping voice interrupted that thought. "He ran into me."

"EDGE!" Lita screamed as she recognized the voice. "HOW IN THE HELL?"

"Ask Shane."

Lita looked at the dark haired heir apparent. "I'm not a fuck up." Shane smirked at her.

Hunter placed one arm around her waist as they looked over the seemingly harmless ground. He suddenly heard her say "Hunter?"

"Yeah Red?"

"Remember when you told me when I was ready, you'd be there?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, I think I'm ready."

Co-Captain's Log, supplemental;

Everything's been going pretty smoothly since we all ended up back here. Jericho and I were made Co-Captains of the ship after a long and arduous debate and several rounds of rock-paper-scissors. Edge is expected to make a full recovery, though he may have breathing problems. Turns out, the son of a bitch had body armor on we didn't know about. He had a back up plan the whole time, which included a blood capsule and a few squibs, however since me becoming Angelica wasn't included in that plan it kinda never happened. He's currently recovering on main base until he's ready to return to action. Though he may be seeing some action there, if what I'm hearing about him and Merc is all true…guess I was just a phase.

Oh, yeah, there was a special ceremony back there for all of us. Every single one of us was promoted two ranks, and as a special bonus we get our old post back and never have to deal with an inspection again. Hurricane was also presented his wings, which apparently impressed Scattia and has the two of them sending mail back and forth. This could help him get over Steph, if it hasn't already.

Speaking of Steph, she transferred out here as medical officer until a more permanent solution can be found. She and Jericho are getting along great, especially since she told her parents about their relationship, and since the divorce papers went through. Plus, she looks great in those boots.

As for me…well, Hunter and I are getting along wonderfully. Matt was kinda weird to us at first, but he's calmed down considerably. Though Hunter and I still fight sometimes, it's good fighting and we know it's only because we love each other. I think we're perfect for each other because we each have seen the other's dark side and are willing to put it behind us.

I figured I'd let the crew give one final word as to what they learned through this whole ordeal.

Chris Jericho- I learned that love is the most powerful weapon in the universe. Well, love and Steph's tongue.

Steph- I learned that everyone has a good side and a bad side. Someone can be a horrible person, but can still be the key to a funky pair of boots.

RVD- I learned that I can stand up to people who talk to their watch. "Do you know what this watch is saying?" What an asshole.

Jeff Hardy- I learned that there's just something about Lita…OW! Matt!

Matt Hardy- I learned that sometimes it's not just enough to love someone, you have to respect them as well, or else you'll lose them. Like I did.

Tori- I learned my sister's taste in music still sucked. And that I need to change my call name again. And that sometimes life is more than just a series of one night stands and sometimes what we really want is someone who knows us and loves us for who we are…or not.

Jackie- I learned that when you cut a man's balls off it leaves one hell of a mess. I'm still trying to get the stains out of that uniform!

Hurricane- I learned that patience pays off, and that when your heart is broken it's a sign that you need someone else to help you put it back together.

Shane- I learned that I am not a fuck up.

Hunter- I learned that sometimes the person you want has been there the whole time, you just never knew it. Facing the past is more important than feeling bad about it. I also learned that Lita gives killer head.

Hunter felt a slap across the back of his head as he was typing his response. He stopped and erased the last sentence.


End file.
